How does the Delhi government tackle rising pollution and toxicity in the air? Well! it comes out with a odd-even formula, asking motorist to drive their vehicles on alternate days depending on whether their registration plates display an odd number or an even number.
What a brilliant brain wave from the Delhi administration! Could not have come out with a better solution! The only problem is that people's offices, schools, businesses do not open and close alternately on odd and even days...
So Delhiites are expected to walk to their engagements on the other day? Or may be Delhi government is suggesting that you have two cars - one with an even registration number plate and the other with an odd number. Problem solved! Car manufacturers are happy,. Government is happy and people - well! even if they are not happy atleast they can drive everyday. Learn to be contented! Even better, government may consider giving free bullock carts to Delhiites. That will eliminate pollution for sure!
Real Problems, Unrealistic Solutions...
Real problems call for real solutions and not unrealistic knee-jerk reactions tagged as solutions.
Rising pollution is a real problem, not only of Delhi but of most major centers in India. But then to only blame motorist for the same and penalize them is neither fair not the solution.
The fact is that most cities in India, including Delhi, have poor, unreliable and creaking public transport system.
> The public transport system is not end to end. This means you can cannot rely on public transport to really take you from your origin all the way to your destination.
> Then the frequency of public transport is low and irregular. This means you may or may not get a bus for your destination and/or you might have to wait for a long long time. People already burdened under long commutes in metro centers of the country cannot afford the same.
>And if this is not enough then most staff on public transport in India are most unhelpful and ill-behaved.
It was about 20 years back in Delhi that I myself experienced a near horror with a DTC bus. The bus was overcrowded and my stop was nearing. As is the unwritten rule, much before your stop is about to arrive, you must start making your way through the unrelenting crowd on the bus towards the front door of the bus (you are only allowed to alight from the bus using the front door).
I luckily got near the front door before my stop arrived. As the request stop drew closer, the bus slowed down. In Delhi, many a times bus does not completely stop at request stops and you must practice to alight from a slow moving bus.
As the bus came to a near halt, I began alighting from the bus. But hardly did my left foot touched down the ground that suddenly the bus accelerated. The momentum threw me on the ground and thanks to reflexes that I quickly retracted my left leg, else it would have been under the tyre of the bus.
My hand was bleeding, my file and paper were scattered on the ground...and there were onlookers at the bus stop. No one came forward to help me. I gathered my wits and belonging, walked to the nearest hospital and got a first aid and a tetanus injection. This was not the first time I was traveling in a bus in Delhi. But when I think in retrospect, this could have happened to me on any of my trips.
Thank God, I am alive.
Real Solutions
Does pollution in Delhi needs immediate action? You bet! definitely yes. But then one wonders why did successive governments and administration wait for these many years and let the situation slip away to this extent?
But then the only way to check pollution and discourage people from taking out their private vehicles on the road is to revamp the public transport system on a WAR-FOOTING. If public transport becomes reliable, fast, end-to-end and empathetic then most people will very naturally prefer to chose the same.
After all in such crazy traffic who really wants to drive?
Added to this all polluting vehicles must be sent off-roads. Strict emission norms are needed; more than that their stringent implementation is necessary. Trucks, lorries, cabs and even government run buses at times are the biggest defaulters. but everyone gets a anti-pollution certificate! Why? How? We know it don't we?
Odd-Even is a poor unsustainable solution that will only bypass the problem and not really solve it. Next you know another racket of registration number plates may start in Delhi!
Wake-up Bangalore, Mumbai, Kolkata and the likes. Revamp the public transport system now and do not wait for the delhi-belly to hit you.
Violence and Apathy "Sorry to say this. The only responsible is womens. Why God created to Mens, the one and only reason to protect women. If womens roaming outside in skirts, half pants, doing makeups and all these things will happens. Women better to serve their husband and children at home.Whatever the actions will take from the government they cannot protect women with that." - This was the first comment posted by a reader below a news report in largest English daily in India regarding a 30 year old woman allegedly gangraped near a tennis club in Bangalore by security guards about two weeks back,. The commentator obviously not only got his english grammar messed up but has got a sick mindset as well.Such comments are not new that malign and chastise women victims of violence and harassment, putting the blame on them instead on the perpetrator.
Violence against women is not a new as well in this country. According to ‘United Nation Population Fund Report’, around two-third of married Indian women are victims of Domestic Violence attacks and as many as 70 per cent of married women in India between the age of 15 and 49 are victims of beating, rape or forced sex. In India, more than 55 percent of the women suffer from Domestic Violence, especially in the states of Bihar, U.P., M.P. and other northern states. But domestic violence is not the only violence that women face in India. Rape, Dowry related torture and deaths, female infanticide, molestation, incidents are rampant in the country.Recently a rising star director of the famous Bollywood film industry was arrested on charges of domestic violence against his wife that included harassment, forced medical treatment for lunacy and forcible custody of the couple's kids. No wonder India ranks 127th on gender inequality index out of 142 countries. Several Voices... In the recent times, especially after the Nirbhaya incident at the national capital Delhi, there have been rise in voice against such atrocities. Media has started to highlight such issues much more. The activists are trying to represent through petition signing and protests. Public in general has lot more curiosity and interest in knowing about such violence against women and girls. There have been several voices in this nation who believe that lack of awareness among women about their rights especially legal rights, lack of women empowerment, social conditioning are the primary causes why such incidents occur. The drive for creating awareness by activists is more intense then before and NGOs working in such areas also seem to get a lot of foreign funding. Worrisome Statistics - Pertinent Questions Despite all this, you will be shocked to know that the statistics of violence against women has only shown sharp increase in the recent years over previous years. One would expect that after all this hue and cry and activism, the cases of violence against women will show decline. on the contrary, the incidents have not only increased but the boldness and the ruthlessness of the perpetrators have left everyone stunned. Nirbhaya like incident has been repeated in other parts of the country, including Bangalore. The sexual assault of baby girls in some Bangalore schools have traumatized people. From cab drivers, to school instructors, from husbands to khap panchayats no one has left any stone unturned to make life more difficult for women. The question is WHY? Why has statistics of violence against women shown rise over past years? Why did awareness drives and activism did not yield desired results? Why women continue to be brutalized in a nation where almost 50% of the population is of females? The reality is baffling and does not seem to offer any respite. Why Only Women Can Change the Tide... The solution to end the pitiable state of women in this nation comes from women themselves. No one else can do what they can themselves do to stop violence and atrocities against them. History is evidence that revolutions have been successful only when the people themselves have risen against the tyrant. Until such time when each one individual has himself or herself realized the need for change within, the change never became possible. Women also face the same situation here today. Women need not be told to fight violence, the day they say enough is enough and each of them decide to fight this no matter what, the scenario will change. Traditional Arguments Do No Good to Women I refuse to accept all traditional arguments of activists and disagree fundamentally with their approach of women betterment. Let us look at some such arguments and how they do not hold any mettle for improving the state of women in this country - Lack of awareness is the reason why women tolerate violence? What awareness does a human being need to realize that they are being abused or brutalized or that they can be subject to violence at home or outside. No amount of awareness is bigger than basic human instinct. The decision to fight that or quietly tolerate the same is dependent on one's decision to do the same. Just because a women comes to know about her legal rights does not necessarily mean that she will decide to fight against her husband who beats her everyday. Instead, the day she decides that enough is enough, she will act towards ending the same. A woman's resolution and instinct beats all awareness drives. A woman tolerates maltreatment for her kids! This logic is often provided for cases of domestic violence - 'The woman has no choice but to quietly subjugate herself to the atrocities of her husband and his relatives because she cares for her children'. Actually, there could be nothing worse for a child than a violent household and to witness everyday their mother being treated like an animal. In fact they will not only get traumatized by the same, the experience could also make them loose all respect for women. The most brutal amongst the ones who brutalized Nirbhaya, a juvenile, has confessed to a childhood where he has witnessed his father beating and torturing his mother when he was a child. Only a adequate fightback by such a woman will restore her respectability in front of her children and make them learn the right things in life. They may have hardships but will never grow up like their pathetic predecessors. Social Conditioning is the reason girls learn to tolerate atrocities! I agree that social conditioning results in mindsets but this is also true that it conditions differently. Take for instance a household where one of the child is a boy and the other is girl. In this household the father (dominant male) rules the roost, the boy (preferential male) is pampered and given preference over the girl child. Is this scenario common in India? You bet! But the question is will this condition the boy child and girl child similarly? Definitely not... The boy will perhaps grow up to a spoilt man, a worthless husband and a chauvinist male. While the girl child will grow up understanding that if she has to find her place under the sun, she will have to endure the heat beneath her feet. The girl will for sure grow up to be a woman who knows that she will have to fight for her survival. Social conditioning, in short, can never make women used to torture and violence. Women are not financially empowered Activists argue that lack of financial empowerment is the reason why women are brutalized in this country. Agree that women are not as financially empowered as men are but could that be the reason for them subject to violence. It will demeaning to even suggest that women tolerate domestic violence because they cannot fend for themselves. No self-respecting person would! And to suggest that for women is disrespecting them. Interestingly the path to financial empowerment in some instances have been paved by women themselves after they have broken the shackles put on them by the society and family. Only Men are responsible for violence against women? In most of the dowry related bride harassment and bride burning cases, mother-in-law has been found to be as guilty as the groom or other male members of the family. Even in average families the preferential treatment to the boy child and bias towards daughter is meted by none other than the mother, many a times. It is myth that women and girls are only harassed or tortured by men. In many cases women are also involved. Not so long back the chairperson of a women commission supported the argument that modern dressing of girls is responsible for sexual violence against them. Again, only women can change such sick attitudes, Society will change? The solution for women will not come from the society or from men. Most men, barring a handful few, will never wish to give their dominant position away. Only women themselves can change the society. The condition of women have dramatically improved in Europe and America because of women themselves and not because of the society or men. The change has been felt by women, initiated by women and then society has been forced to change and accept them as equals.Not that scenario in such countries is perfect but surely is way better than in India. In the backdrop of the fact that the juvenile offender in the Nirbhaya's case, the most brutal of all, is set to be released on Dec. 15 as he completes his sentence, I rest my case by saying that only WOMEN can change the tide and make this a better world for themselves. Activists and Chauvinists - both are equally useless in this mission.
God made man, man made religion to reach God. Then he made Caste to decide who has the right to pray, conduct rituals and decide the order. God was also classified. Everyone does not have the same God. Many other lines were drawn - language, region, etc. All in all a priority order was decided for reaching God. The hierarchy of caste in the end resulted in deciding one's status in the society and priority order to access God. Look where we have reached in this journey... Two toddler kids were burnt to death when their house was set on fire by a mob. Their fault - they belonged to lower caste. The visuals of the charred bodies of the kids wrapped in white cloth being carried out of the gutted home was traumatic, to say the least. Few days back, a man was dragged out of his house and lynched to death by a mob. His fault - rumours were spread that he ate a particular kind of meat that the mob's religion did not permit. The people who burnt those kids or lynched that poor man in name of caste and religion forgot that the same religion believes in 'Nar NARAYAN' that means God resides in every human being. Then how can one man kill another in name of religion or caste. Those kids who were burnt alive did not even know the meaning of religion. Will then our religion help us to access God? Did we not forget God in protecting religion? Will God accept our offerings soaked in blood of innocents? Humanity that once used tovbe the biggest religion is now dying and gasping for breath. But man is busy keeping and settling scores, all in the name of religion. Today perhaps we have too much religion and too less God.
It is amazing that sometimes people who are close to you become really ' close' when they are far away. Distance of miles brings back the same simple smile on their face and turns them into their same adorable old self. With whom you would interact only occassionally when at a handful distance, you start talking to them, using technology, every morning and every evening, when they are several oceans away. Old times seem to have come back. No baggages of the past and no hangovers of the present! You yearn to meet that someone again, soon.
And then that someone flies back and is at a handful distance again! You rush to meet the old buddy that you saw again on 'Skype'. But alas! he seems to have left 'him' in an alien land when he came back. He seems to be burdened again. Old buddy, old ways, cannot be found 'near' anymore. He hath changed too!
'O' my dear you were close when far, yet you chose to be far when near!
I wish the best for you my friend but this time when you pushed me, you pushed me too far.
I will be near you whenever you need me... But now that you are so far again...so...
Have you watched 'Doraemon'? Ok, you do not have to confess that publicly, but when I recently asked the same question in my MBA class and except one student, all others had seen the cartoon series. Few even watch it now! That explains the popularity of the adapted Japanese cartoon series.
Kids, for sure, are hooked to 'Doraemon'. 'Doraemon', the adapted Japanese cartoon series on television, continues to fascinate kids, at times grown up adults, even after more than 50 years since it was first telecast in Japan. Translated in many languages of the world, the show is extremely popular among kids across the world.
Even if you are not such a big fan of 'Doraemon' but if you happen to have a kid at home then chances are that you have been subjected to passive watching of the cartoon series. Something with which I can relate to very well.
Well! I have not been particularly pleased that my son watches 'Doraemon'. However I am sure that over a period of time he will have the wisdom to differentiate between good and bad. Plainly keeping him away will not serve the purpose. Arnab like many other kids find the adventures of Nobita and Doraemon irresistible. 'Doraemon' intrigues because everything depicted in the seriesshould not be learnt and whatever lessons the 'characters' learn because of their follies must be. Now the challenge is whether the kids learn the right thing. I have always felt that kids who watch the cartoon series with no supervision, with the kind of characters that it depicts, run the risk of subconsciously modelling the characters. It is another story that similar issues exists with most kids series on television today.
But I also think that 'Doraemon', with all its shades, if communicated properly, can hold excellent lessons on behaviour not only to kids but to adults as well, particularly when it comes to Organizational Behaviour. Teaching this course to MBA students and being subjected to a passive watching of the cartoon series everyday, it gave me enough time and opportunity to think and introspect.
I prefer calling them 'Doraemon Musings'. Hope you like them -
Theory X and Theory Y
The protagonist of the series are two characters - Doraemon a robotic cat who has come back in time from the 22nd century to help a pre - teen boy Nobita. Nobita is a boy who is lazy and hates work - be it be going to school, or doing his studies, or his homework or make a decent attempt to play a game. He is constantly under fire from his teachers, mother and often even friends. As much as Nobita hates working, he wants all advantages or benefits without making too much effort. Basically he wants an easy life. He also dreams of an adult life where he will get a job that will have minimal things to do but 'one' that can give back lots of money. Because of his laziness, he often gets into trouble sometimes for not finishing his school work or chores at home or with his friends. He obviously turns for all the help to his robotic cat Doraemon. OB Lesson 1
Nobita personifies the Theory X, that fundamentally believes that people are lazy and they avoid work, yet want all the benefits. They must be told and directed to make them do their jobs. Theory X is a contrast of Theory Y that believes the opposite about people. While a debate goes on in Organizational Behaviour classes that which theory about people is correct, characters like Nobita prove that as much as Theory Y people exist, Theory X people exist too. Hiring people like Nobita could be a big mistake for any organization and essentially qualifies as 'select error' i.e. selecting the wrong person. The other error in hiring being 'Go Error' or letting go the right person. Hiring mangers must be able to differentiate between X and Y. Experts even believe that CEOs must spend atleast one fourth of their time in hiring people. Jim Collins in his famous book Good to Great had rightly said 'First Who, Then What' that in short means getting the right people in the organization precedes realization of its vision.
Leadership and Power
When Nobita turns to Doraemon for help, what does he do? Well, he doles out a gadget that can turn around the things for Nobita magically. The gadget temporarily solves Nobita's problem but makes him over dependent on itself, rather then on his abilities. Once the problem is solved Nobita is happy and somehow blackmails Doraemon into getting full control over the gadget. Nobita predictably misuses the gadget and gets into trouble again. Time for Doraemon to fish out another gadget...
OB Lesson 2
Doraemon represents a benevolent, laissez-faire and weak leader who is too kind to be effective. His benevolence often becomes the weakness of his followers and he ends up becoming their crutch in a way. They in turn fail miserably. He also does not know how to delegate power and often entrusts in wrong hands. And when total power comes in the hand of a fool then he ends up not only misusing it but also creating trouble for himself and for others. That's exactly what Nobita does! Once he is in full control of the gadgets, he misuses it and messes up big time!
Effective leaders know to be situational as well as contextual leaders. They know when to help their followers and when not to; when to direct them and when to let them discover; and, most importantly whom to entrust with power and responsibilities.
Power and Politics
Power is a function of dependency. More the dependency, more the other person wields power against the 'dependent'. Nobita has two unworthy friends in the form of Jian and Suniyo. Jian rules the roost with his sheer muscle power and he bullies everyone including Nobita. The latter's only rescue is Doraemon, who else!
Doraemon wields power over Nobita because the latter depends on him for protection and for special powers.
Jian wields power over Nobita because of his ability to infuse fear and Nobita cannot match his muscle power.
Nobita also has some power over Doraemon as the latter is under obligation to protect the former (Doraemon has been sent by Nobita's grandson back in time to earn some money and in return protect Nobita).
Oh! I almost forgot Suniyo, the sidekick of Jian. He sticks to Jian by being his 'Yes Man' so that he can get all his favours. Jian again wields power over Sunioyo.
Since most of the power is illegitimate power, presence or absence of such power leads to negative political behaviour. Not to forget that almost all of them and Nobita in particular are out to impress Shuzuka the only girl among the characters who is the classmate of the boys. The display of negative political behaviour is either to use or neutralize the illegitimate power, depending upon whether one has or does not have the same, to meet their ends or to impress Shuzuka.
OB lesson 3
The prevalence of illegitimate power in organizations encourages negative political behaviour. People try to meet their 'ends' and 'means' lose their meaning. Hence it is either by 'hook or by crook'. People try and secure their advantages and engage in 'impression management' while making sure that they push all the disadvantages to their colleagues.
Conflict and Negotiations
The fact that illegitimate power and negative politics prevails in Doraemon, the conflicts among the characters are also mostly dysfunctional in nature. The conflict-handling intentions basically decide the kind of negotiation that they will have to resolve the conflicts.
Doraemon is highly cooperative but not at all assertive - He is mostly 'Accommodating'.
Nobita is neither highly cooperative nor very assertive - He has to mostly 'Compromise'.
Jian and Suniyo are not at all cooperative but very assertive, infact aggressive - they are always 'Competing'.
Shuzuka is cooperative but seldom assertive - She is also 'Accommodating'.
OB Lesson 4
If a culture of cut-throat competition with no cooperation or collaboration at all becomes prevalent in the organization then it is always a 'win-lose' scenario and never 'win-win'. Few win, others lose and organization, Other stakeholders never really gain from such equations.Organization always gain when it can foster more 'Collaboration' in the organization. 'Collaboration' is win-win where both parties end up getting advantage and resolve conflict in a manner that is int he interest of the organization and the stakeholders. For that to happen there must be high degree of cooperativeness and assertiveness to say and do the right thing, always.
Emotions, Attitude & Readiness to Change
Most of the characters in 'Doraemon' are emotionally driven and cannot keep control over their emotions. Nobita's laziness and incompetence makes him emotionally fragile. He is basically the 'cry boy' who cries at the drop of the hat. He emotionally blackmails Doraemon who never learns from his past experiences and once again helps Nobita. Doraemonalso has weakness for 'Dora Cakes', something that makes him do anything. Jian and Sunioyo cannot keep control over their anger and greed. And then all of them have some soft corner for Shuzuka who many times becomes the reason for competition.
OB lesson 5
The lack of emotional intelligence fosters negative attitude as it impairs both cognitive (mental processing) and affective (emotional processing) components of attitude formation. Thus the chances that they will change is very low. They never learn and never change their nature and keep repeating their mistakes.
Inability to foster emotional intelligence among members in organization, fosters negative attitudes and creates mindsets that block any sort of change. Such organizations face the threat of extinction more than any one else. Sustainability comes from positive attitudes and readiness to change.
Final Reflections
Looking back, Doraemon has an excellent opportunity to reform Nobita. But he is too submissive to assert the point to Nobita and he never mends his ways. His realization upon messing up is too temporary and never end up in real learning.
OB lesson 6
Leaders have the best opportunity to create a right culture in the organization and thereby cultivate right behaviours that promote productivity, creativity and engagement. If leaders fail, organization pretty much fails. Pampering and threat, both are ineffective. Accountability with responsibility is what leaders must promote.
You have not watched 'Doraemon'!!!
And, just in case you are among the minority who have not yet seen 'Doraemon', then here is one episodes of the famours cartoon series...Enjoy :-)
Bandh* and Onions in India are similar in many ways. Both are costly, both bring 'tears' to one's eyes but both continue to be in demand. Onion what appears to be from outside is not what it is when you peel the same. Bandh is also like that, what seems to be the cause, seldom is the real reason. Onion keeps bringing tears to your eyes till you chop it down. Bandh keeps us on tenterhooks till the day is over.
As you peel the onion, you may find it to be really fresh. You never know you may also find it to be rotten from inside! Bandh also keeps playing the guessing game. The uncertainty on such days can literally get on to your nerves at times.
As the price of the onion rises, it starts to disappear from the salad plates and menu of restaurants. Bandh has similar disappearing effect on people on the streets. More high profile the bandh, more is the disappearing effect.
Finally, onion is used by different people for different purposes, sometimes as a salad, in burgers, as a culinary accompaniment. Bandh serves different purposes for different people. Those who call bandh, those who oppose bandh and then people like me who have no clue why the bandh has been called for but are forced to stay indoors - all of them are served differently.
All said and done, no matter how you slice onion it still remains ordinary, smelly and never irreplaceable. Bandh is also simply pedestrian.
Try to hold your breath for couple of minutes - 10 seconds, 20 seconds, 30 seconds ... difficult... starting to feel deprived of oxygen ... feeling suffocated ... cannot hold on more ... give up finally ... It is such a relief to get your breath back, isn't it! Feels divine! Imagine if it is so difficult to hold your breath for few seconds, then what would it have meant for those two municipal workers who suffocated to death in that manhole, in the city two days back. Yes, you heard it right, two workers died of asphyxia in that shit hole. Manual Scavenging is banned in the country but that did not prevent the contractor to force one of the workers to get down inside the manhole, with no safety gadgets whatsoever, to clear the blockage in the drain of one of the houses on the other side of the road. Apparently the house belonged to someone 'important' hence instead of checking the blockage from the house, the contractor chose the manhole route. When the worker got trapped inside the manhole, the contractor panicked and tried to escape. A fellow worker who tried to rescue him also fell in the hole and both of them did not survive. The news in the next day's daily was published, few read and soon after it was forgotten. The contractor will go scot-free after the issue dies out, in all probability. Reality is that no one gives a damn to those poor souls who passed away. Last year around the same time of the year two workers had died under similar circumstances when they stepped into a 15 foot deep manhole in East Bangalore. And even the year before that, two workers suffocated to death in a sewage drain at M.G. Road, one of the top locations of the city. The apathy is very clear. 'Help! I can't breathe...' they would have tried to cry out loud but their voice and lives would have been snuffed out of utter suffocation. I shudder to think of their final moments. What a horrible end ... Shame on us, Shame on this city !!! As we go to local municipal elections tomorrow, can we stop for a minute and think about these workers who are treated like guinea pigs in keeping this great city functioning and ensuring that all the 'shit' remains under the 'ground'. It is so surprising that in a country where we even worship animals, we deny fellow human beings of not only a dignified life, but also a dignified death.
No, no, this is not a question that I am trying to answer. You must have noticed the exclamatory mark after the title line.
Consider this...
Storm in the Tea Cup...
My wife loves tea...but only if it is made by me. Somehow I seem to have the magic recipe for the tea that she loves and likes so much that every other tea is tasteless for her. I on my part love making a cup of hot tea for her every morning and evening.
Cut to an odd evening...some guests have dropped in home. after usual pleasantries, as is the custom in most Indian homes, tea and snacks need to be served and the rest of the conversation pretty much continues over those delectable. I insist on making the tea. We have an open kitchen in our home. So the tea that I am making is very much in the full view of our guests lounged in the living room. As I make tea and serve the same, my guest seem to be visibly restless, especially a middle aged women among them. At first I do not seem to understand the cause of their restlessness, but then I figure it out. They are feeling slightly embarrassed at the fact that the 'man' of the house is actually serving them tea. This routine in their view is reserved for my wife. I wonder what is so big deal, however for them it seems to be! But for appearing rude, I felt like putting back those tea cups in the kitchen without them having touched them.
What's Cooking!
In our household there are no work boundaries between me and my wife and no one is really helping when one is doing a job. That is supposed to be done, that's it! The same applies to cooking. Cooking for us is a more functional job and we share it among both of us. But I have seen some members of my extended family, relatives feeling a bit embarrassed if the cooking for that day has been done by me. They seem to be sympathizing at my labour and also do not forget to subtly suggest to my wife that she is really 'smart' (that she could pass the buck!). However when my wife does all the cooking, which unfortunately she has to do more times than me, no one seems bothered.
I just don't get it...why can't men cook! What is so big deal if they share household jobs. After all everyone lives in that house and shares the benefits!
Why should women always cook and serve?
Does it hurt the self esteem of men if they share this job?
Then, should it be assumed that women have lower respect than men?
If the answer to any one of the above questions is in affirmation, then that person definitely suffers from a mindset that puts men on pedestal and denigrates women.
Surprisingly it is not only men in our culture who suffer from such mindset, it's also WOMEN. That is saddest part of this reality. Many women still think that men really slip off the assumed 'pedestal' if they cook or serve! C'mon...
b'Ad' Promotion
Few days back I heard a AD (advertisement over radio), that went something like this - A man asks his wife what would she wish if God granted her three wishes. To this wife expresses three wishes that in some way suggest that she would ask her man to help her in the kitchen. Every time she makes a wish, the man makes sounds of disapproval, and by the end of the third wish the man sounds as if fainting in disgust. A baritone voice comes at this juncture that goes like ...'Women need help in kitchen. That is why we have designed a kitchen sink that has...' whatever blah! blah! features.
Consider the assumptions made in the Ad.
a) Place for women is kitchen.
b) Women always need men to help them. (else they can't do their jobs).
c) Men feel wasted if they are asked to do kitchen stuff!
d) Wife is a dimwit that she wastes God's grant to lowly kitchen jobs.
Whereas the reality is -
a) The man in the ad is a lazy bum.
b) He is also insensitive to the fact that his wife is slogging out in the kitchen alone.
c) The wife is driven so crazy that she needs almighty's help to bail her out out of this lonely daily grind!
d) Not her man but a product comes to her rescue. Alas!
Another recent radio ad of some pre-mixed spices has a punchline- 'now even men can cook'.
Really!
No wonder ads are made like this...after all they are made by 'similar' people for appealing to the majority having a mindset that we just talked about.
cHANGe
Can this mindset change? I believe it can but it will still take a long time before real change happens. But for that to happen, I believe the change has to start from women. Women have to stop assuming that cooking or for that matter any household job is only their responsibility and that if men do the same they are belittled. And, that if men help in the house, they are being magnanimous. 'Sorry ladies they are not! It's also their job and it is anyone's job who is living in that house. If fruits are shared by everyone, the labout also must be! Start believing, for only when you believe, that the other gender will take note and change.'
One last thing...
Ladies who are homemakers also work! For God's sake stop assuming that only those 'who' go out to work are doing a job. The lady in the house is doing a 24/7, 365 days job with no salary, leaves, benefits, increments or promotions. Just because a lady is a homemaker does not mean that she has no work and that she must toil alone in the house. Not acceptable. Homemaker works and does the toughest job on planet earth in an office called home. 'And other people in the house, how come you forget teamwork when you come back home!'
This time again...Ladies do not rest, till it is cool for Men to Cook! :-)
Dream turned nightmare for the poor four year girl who lost her life in the recent car crash. Tucked cozily in her mom's lap, travelling in her Dad's 'small' car, she was critically injured when it crashed against Hema's 'Big' Merc. Hema a famous yesteryear actress dubbed by many as 'dream girl' and now a politician/MP was rushed to the best hospital immediately, while the 'four year old' lay bleeding alongside her family injured in the crash. The crucial time lost in taking her to hospital reportedly cost her precious life. Neither Hema, who comparatively escaped with minor injuries, nor the doctor who rushed her to hospital for once thought about the kid that she too needed urgent medical attention. As if this was not enough, Hema squarely blamed the girl's dad for the accident and for the death of the child, despite the fact that her driver has been booked for rash driving. Under fire for leaving the four year old behind to die, Hema did not lose an opportunity to claim her innocence before even the family could grieve death of their baby. This gross insensitivity shook me and many... Hema how could you do this? You are a 'dream' no more! You and your car were no dream to the little girl and her family. It was a horrible nightmare for them. Hema should thank her stars that she was in a Merc having international safety features that saved her life. The poor girl and her family were not so lucky and got badly hit in their humble 'Alto'. However this should not come as a surprise. Pandering to the rich, famous and powerful is common in this nation. India claimed by many as a land of equals is more equal for some! Else, how do you explain holding-up entire aircraft full of 'ordinary' passengers and delaying the flight to accommodate a late minister? And not once, at least two times in the recent past. In one case even some legitimate passengers were offloaded from the aircraft to accommodate the minister! Else, how do you explain a famous actor running down pavement dwellers in an inebriated state and even after evidence clearly against the actor, the case running for 13 long years with still no signs of justice? These are just recent top of the mind recalls. There are countless such incidents in our country. Ask anyone on the street and he/she will definitely have at least one similar incident to narrate. Who to Blame? The blame for the VIP culture in India cannot be put only on the VIPs. The blame also lies with all of us. Had we not been servile and pandered the ugly protruding egos of such people, then such culture will not flourish.
The doctor who forgot the four year old kid in his bid to show his utter servility to Hema or the airline officers who meekly held the aircraft for the minister or the several on streets and social media who instead of showing sensitivity towards the poor helpless dead pavement dweller & his family, brashly supported the star actor - we are the ones to blame more. Exception is not a rule! Unfortunately... Not every rich and powerful is a jerk and not every middle class or poor in this nation is a servile...however unfortunately they are heavily outnumbered by those who either shamelessly wear their status on their sleeves or by those who lick those sleeves crawling on their knees. 'It is nice to be important, but it is more important to be nice!' - this wise old adage cuts very little ice with majority in this nation. Alas! RIP four year old angel - you are in a better world! May fairies hold you in their lap and sing you beautiful melodies. You will have no bad 'dream' there!
My old car was having some overheating issues. I was advised
to drive the car slowly till that time that the problem is rectified. Hence my
speed dropped down to an average of around 50 km/hr. The drop in speed meant
that I was moving much slower than most vehicles on road. With lane system
non-existent in India, that also meant that cars, trucks, buses overtaking me
from right, from left every now and then.
Frankly driving slow changed my perception in a way.
Although I applaud myself for my driving skills and can really negotiate fast and
tough, but for the first time really I was enjoying my drive and there was a smile on my face.
I put the air conditioner off, rolled down the windows and the cool morning breeze, music
playing on the car stereo everything seemed so lovely. I was no more rushing as
I usually did. The cars running past me appeared to be in a 'race' and I was no
more in that. While I was never losing sight of the destination, the journey
seemed equally enjoyable. Driving slow was almost therapeutic, both for me and
for my car.
What was even wonderful was that I was reaching my
university in the usual time. There was no delay. Surprise! I thought I will be late, but I wasn’t.
Life mirrors roads and most of us seem to be on the fast
lane, rushing, racing, at times even cutting lanes, jumping signals in a mad
rush to reach our destination. In the midst
of all this we forget to enjoy the ‘journey’ - pick some ‘cool breeze’ on the
way, enjoy the ‘sun rise’ and the ‘sun set’, the ‘clouds’, ‘rains’ and catch an innocent
smile of a child, hum a ‘song’... the journey can be so enchanting.
But then we seem consumed with destination. More of
everything and more of more…destination seems like a shifting target. In the
end it is like a mirage, and we like the desert’s lost travelers. We just never get there because we never
targeted a goal; we just wanted more and more.
As a result our body ends up like my car – over heated, over
stressed and on the brink of a breakdown. Only like for my car, no one is there
to warn us to slow down a bit in our life. Hence we keep revving our muscles,
nerves and bones till they ‘wear out’ and ‘breakdown’.
For a moment, stop and think… and in case you
see what I do then atleast for sometime... Drive Slow ! (Also suggest reading 'Stress kills: Father remembers son, a Goldman Sachs analyst, who died at 22' @ http://www.hindustantimes.com/world-news/stress-kills-father-remembers-son-a-goldman-sachs-analyst-who-died-at-22/article1-1354791.aspx )
Valuable or less valuable, anything goes missing in an average household,
the first and the usual suspect is the housemaid. ‘She must have stolen it’ – this is what most residents of that
household say with utmost confidence. To add more credence to their theory they
also add – ‘I saw her lurking
suspiciously for no reason yesterday. She must be contemplating the same.’
At times the maid is even quizzed or indirectly made to feel that she is the
suspect, much to her embarrassment.
Parallel search for that object continues and one would
agree that 95% of the times that object is found in the house itself, that
someone kept carelessly or too carefully, and then blissfully forgot about the
same.
The missing has been found and everyone is happy in the
house, but the poor maid? Her self-respect has been crushed once more by her
suspecting rich employers. No one feels any need to even say sorry to the poor
soul who stays with the blemish and lives with the stigma ever after that she
was called a thief, when she was innocent. Ditto happens in many offices and the suspects more often than not are the petty workers.
Does being poor means being less honest?
Do most of us somewhere deep down feel that less privileged
people lack values and cannot be trusted?
Few days back, I encountered an acclaimed academician's piece of advice for his alma mater from where he graduated 5 decades
back. His advice startled me. His alma mater known for being very sophisticated
and traditionally open to kids of the elite, after decades of exclusivity
was opening doors to less privileged students coming from lower economic
strata.
He wrote... “Traditionally
our institution has been known for the kind of values that our students are endowed
with. However now that we have decided to open our doors for the less-privileged
we have to more careful. These students coming from poor families may not have
that kind of access and hence may not have the kind of values that our students
generally have. It is philanthropic that we have decided to open our doors for
the poor boys and girls but we must do extra diligence to ensure that the
values are instilled in them.”
Clearly the assumption is that boys and girls who come from
poor families do not have good values and they need to be educated on the same
as well. This reflects the same mindset?
How far is this true?
Recent disclosures by Swiss authorities show how some India’s
rich industrialists are stashing away millions in foreign banks to evade tax. The size of India’s black money market is
enough to make you feel a bit dizzy. A World Bank report puts India’s shadow
economy at close to one-fifth of economic output. Obviously poor people did not
stash away these millions in foreign banks; and those rich people who did surely
will not score very high on values.
A survey conducted by National Council of Applied Economic
Research (NCAER) shows that an average urban household in India pays around Rs
4,400 annually as bribe, while rural households have to shell out Rs 2,900. How
can people laden with values pay and accept bribes?
All this cannot be the product of high values; and all those
people are not poor.
Government defines BPL (below poverty line) as those whose
average monthly per capita expenditure is not more than Rs. 816/- in rural
areas and Rs. 1000/- in urban areas. That is much lower than the bribe being
paid.
Wait! We must not give rise to another stereotyped perception
here that all rich people lack values. As much as this is not true, can then it
be conclusively decided that those devoid of riches are devoid of values as
well?
Understanding the psyche of people and understanding the
motives behind the behaviour people can be immensely insightful and helpful but
can also be very disconcerting at times. Social psychologists attempt to
explain human behaviour as a result of interaction between mental state of a
person and social situations. Hence every behaviour that a person is exhibiting
has a motive and he/she may be conscious, sub-conscious or unconscious about
it.
Being a social psychology academic myself and teaching human
resource behaviour and management to business students and researchers,
studying these motives and behaviour becomes an effortless exercise. The result
could be helpful in understanding people and their real intentions.
This is academically
a great skill to master. However what it also does is make you a bit alienated from
the society. Let me explain.
Most people say, act or behave in a way that, though guided
by their motives, is masked under tact, courtesy or deceit. While tact and
courtesy are socially acceptable, deceit is spiteful.
Understanding those motives peels off the mask and exposes
the real face of the ‘actor’. This where the problem starts, especially where
motives though clever are not hurtful or resentful. Being guarded with
people who can cause you potential damage or loss is rewarding; this also makes
you guarded against people who though armed with clever motives, have no
intention to cause you hurt. The resultant could be social alienation.
Being an academic and a researcher has its trade-offs. It
can teach you to be insightful and but robs simplicity out of your life.
This where I envy my better half Vandana. She comes across
as a simple person, one who I feel has a heart so clear that even the mountain
stream would blush and has a natural way of mingling with people. She has a
magnetic simplicity about her demeanour that makes people feel charmed and unthreatened.
Her unassuming and unpretentious nature is her biggest strength. Perhaps this
is why she receives any new person she meets with the same belief, in a completely
non-judgemental fashion. She is smart to notice and recover from not so pleasant
experiences with some people, but she also makes great friends. And those who
become her friends have this ‘will do anything for you’ kind of attitude
towards her. That is so amazing!
I don’t think I have her simple way of
looking at this world. My vision is too ‘wise’.
There is a value in being able to penetrate the obvious but
then it becomes difficult to run with unbridled joy, fearlessly and many times
aimlessly.
Everyone has a 'struggle' story...those difficult years when nothing was working right; we were young, restless and not so successful, and the world had not been conquered as yet; the people around were indifferent and at times not so kind...
Sounds familiar? Not surprising, since all of us, almost all of us have a similar story!
And most of us love remembering this story and recalling and retelling it with fondness, all our life.
We hold on to this story and it goes with us to our graves.
Yet, many other happier and better times are not remembered with so much effort ...
Why?
The reason is very simple, yet intriguing. For most of us, our struggle defines us. They give meaning to our life and define our existence. They on one hand help us to self-pity and also draw sympathy from our 'listeners'; on the other hand help us to show others how brave we have been, how we emerged from the 'ashes'. The impact is so 'romantic'.
This romanticism is something, most of us love and hence hold-on to our 'struggle years' story'. This becomes even more romantic when one makes it very big in public life. Then this story is the clincher and grabs headlines and prime-time media attention.
Everyone loves it!
However what most of us do not realize is that this story of struggle is an illusion and the more we drool over the same, the bigger & tougher it sounds. In reality everyone has to work towards something that one wants to achieve. The path is target dependent. Hence if one had no ambition, the path simply would not have been there. We chose the path, since we chose what we wanted to have in the first place. The path is unpredictable, since environmental variables keep altering. And most of us know or atleast can predict the obstacles on the way to our goal.
In short, there is nothing like struggle.
I know, most of us will like to believe the contrary. That is understandable. After all we have grown on fairy tales, so why not have one of ours' :-)
Ok. I know the title is puzzling you! But then that’s what
prompted this post...
Aurindam (Auri) got an 'A' !!!
No, no, this is not a board result of a high-schooler. Yes,
result but of a different kind…
Aurindam works for an Indian major dealing in watches and
lifestyle products, in their watch service division. The annual PLP
(Performance-Linked Pay) ratings have been announced. And, you guessed it right
Aurindam got an ‘A’ rating, the best possible. It becomes even more special by
the fact that only two employees got ‘A’ rating in the whole of East and North
East India – that is a cool 9-10 states combined. Phenomenal, Aurindam deserves
a standing ovation!
The larger point?
Well, there is nothing like a fair and transparent review of
performance. Aurindam has been an outstanding worker to my personal knowledge but
had a pretty tough last year, both on personal and professional fronts. Despite
this his boss and peers stood by him in his hours of trial like a rock and
supported him throughout. Aurindam on his part left no stone unturned to do his
best, as always. The outcome has thrilled everyone.
It just goes on to emphasize that a supportive work environment,
a supportive boss, a fair, objective and transparent performance review and
rewarding the right person in the right manner at the right time, are perhaps
the biggest engagers at work.
Keep it simple, guys! Engagement is not a rocket science.
> In a barbaric incident, a man was beaten to death in frontof his kids in a case heinous case of road rage in New Delhi. > Few days back amentally ill pilot of German Wings took down with him more than 150 unsuspecting
passengers to dust and doom. The pilot had been diagnosed for having suicidal
intentions earlier. Innocent lives were devastated by one man’s act of madness. > Couple of days back two pilots of Air India fought inside the cockpit during a
flight. The co-pilot reportedly thrashed the pilot upon given certain
instructions for work by the latter. For engaging in uncivil behaviour and for
endangering the lives of hundreds of passengers on board, both pilots were derostered
and inquiry is pending.
Could they just be dismissed as separate stray indents of
violence? A closer look reveals that all these incidents have one thing in
common - People who engaged in extremely violent behaviour did so with little
or no immediate provocation. Short fuse blowing up in a 'sudden death' is
becoming common these days. Could this short fuse and sudden random violent behaviour be related to the worsening mental health of people? The mental health statistics in India is worrisome and shows that a large percentage of people suffer from mental disorders. That should not be automatically equated with lunacy, but recognized like any other disease and treated. Unfortunately our social norms and perceptions are a barrier to the same. A World Health Organisation (WHO) report on suicides (2000-2012) puts India right on top of the list in Southeast Asia. In India 10.9 persons every lakh committ suicide; suicides being the second leading cause of death among people in the age group of 18-29 years.
The rising levels of anxiety, stress, and depression is
unwanted perk that comes with modern day living in an uncertain but busy world
and uncertain but turbulent times. Most of the jobs these days are high stress
ones, leaving very little to chance or margin for error. Jobs, organizations,
institutions may disappear suddenly because of economic calamity or terror
attacks. Modern day living also comes with zero personal space, very little
privacy and high peer pressure on social media. Most of people live their life
on EMIs. Loss of jobs suddenly means crashing of income and inability to pay
EMI. That may mean doom for many. Health Stress is also at an all-time high. Number
of young people with cardiac problems or high blood pressure has increased
drastically. Audrey Tsui calls this ‘Cost of Rising Prosperity’.
Stress, anxiety and depression problems are not only in adults
but also amongst kids. They face intense competition. A ‘Winner takes it all’ kind of culture has been created for them,
mostly by parents and teachers who themselves faced with fast-paced competitive world think that their
kids need to outperform every time. That creates undue high expectations from
the kids, who many times crumble under pressure. The rising number of teen
suicides is an ample testimony to the kind of pressures they are subjected to.
The vicious cycle of Anxiety, Stress and Depression is a
silent killer till it all explodes one day. Worst, people either do not realize
that they suffer from anxiety or stress or they fear to come out in the open
for fear of social stigma.
When Deepika Padukone, a famous Bollywood celebrity, openly talked
about facing depression herself, the frailties of the modern world was exposed.
Success always does not mean happiness as well. Deepika after all is one of the
most successful stars. But kudos to her for coming out in the open and sharing
with the world. That should motivate few more to do the same and seek solutions
to their mental problems.
Stress and depression is like a silent bomb ticking away,
waiting to explode. And when it does, it does so with devastating effect. Effective measures are important to deal with
the same. The measures may be both preventive and curative. However first recognizing poor mental health as an urgent pressing problem, not only at a media or thinker-group level but also at institutional and societal levels, is important. That will ease the social norms and make it safe for people to come out in the open and seek remedies for their mental health issues. It is important to remember that all it may take many time to relieve stress/anxiety may be a listening ear, a compassionate heart and a healing touch. Do not forget to extend that to whoever you can.
