RE-KINDLING AN OLD FLAME

While the practice of creating alumni relations, alumni chapters and alumni reunions have been a common practice among universities, the corporate sector has rarely focused on alumni network of its ex-employees. A concept that was pioneered by McKinsey, employee-alumni relations have not been too popular in India. Not surprising - considering India has not particularly done well in employee engagement.

Global consultants like PwC, KPMG have employee-alumni network portals to enable its ex-employees to reconnect should they want to at any point of time. They actively consider re-hiring ex-employees or considering referrals from their ex-employees. Post-recession, some Indian companies started showing similar intent and Infosys, Wipro considered re-hiring employees laid-off during recession. 

The rationale of re-hiring ex-employees comes from the fact that they are not only accustomed to the corporate culture but they have been tried and tested hands, with proven record of previous performance. Besides since they left, they have had other experiences. Hence once back they bring fresh ideas and perspectives on the table that could help the company get a competitive edge. 

HDFC Bank is the latest to join this growing tribe. The bank, which had 68,165 employees at the end of March, aims to re-hire as many as 3,000 former employees over the next 12-18 months. As the bank plans to grow with stability and not with by taking risks, old hands may be good back home. 

But then, as there are pros and cons of rekindling an old flame, there are similar issues when it comes to re-hiring an ex-employee. And companies must be cognizant of the same. Else it may prove to be a pain in the neck rather than a shot-in-the-arm.

1. 'If you want to rekindle an old flame, you'll need to first discuss what went wrong the last time' (Psychology today). - This piece of wisdom holds true when attracting back ex-employees as well. Why an employee left in the first place, is important to determine. HDFC on its part is targeting ex-employees who had good performance track record and are presently doing well in their current companies.
   
2. 'Do you really miss your ex or do you just hate dating?' (Psychology Today) - Faced with talent scarcity and stiff recruitment targets, at times for the recruiting team, the decision to hire back ex-employees may be an easier option-out then attracting fresh talent. Hiring an ex-employee must be taken purely on their merit and need to have them back.
   
3. 'Before you start emailing your ex, remember that jealousy is normal. So deal with it.'  (Psychology Today) - Talented ex-employees may been hired by the competitor. Trying to win them back just because one's competitor has them otherwise, is not going to be sustainable.
   
4. 'If you haven't learned this basic lesson, chances are you're just missing a warm body.' (Psychology Today) - Certain things may not have worked right during the first stint of the employee. They may have been recorded in various organizational documents like appraisal documents, exit-interview transcripts. Learning from the old mistakes and continuously re-inventing the system is important for an organization. Hiring back old employees and letting them face the same flaws in the system doesn't make sense.
   
5. 'Are you trapping yourself with an on-again/off-again relationship? Sustaining a long-term relationship is commendable' (Psychology Today) -The question remains that  - Can they make the home 'sweeter' and the second home-coming even more so? Engagement has to be a serious intention behind such initiatives; and remember 'Re-Engagement' is going to be more challenging.

It remains to be seen if HDFC Bank's old flames ignite it's mission or not. And do other companies follow the suit and the 'mantra' of Re-Engagement. 

Reference: Re-kindling an old flame or not by Catherine Shu, Psychology Today, 2005

Hypocritical Nation Treats Girls and Women with Disdain. Alas!

We are a land of hypocrites when it comes to treating girls and women. When an incident of rape happens we all pretend to be shocked and chocked for words. Candle light marches will be organized.;Government would ban cabs; Social groups would pledge support; Media will print bold headlines. Few days pass, things cool down, everyone forgets and we again wait for the next crime to occur. 

India has not learnt from its past and never will.

The girls and women who stand up and fights these sick  molesters and rapists are ostracized and harassed in this country. Look at the fate of the two Haryana sisters who beat up the molesters in the bus. 

At first things happened in the most unpredictable manner. The army refused employment to the molester youths, the state government announced bravery rewards for the brave girls. Wow! I thought this nation is changing...finally the girls will be celebrated for standing-up and fighting for their rights.

However things were too good to be true. Some women (yes women) in the bus accuse the brave sisters of fabricating the story and unnecessarily beating up the youth, the villagers of the village where these boys reside submit affidavits to the government pressurizing them to acquit the boys of the charge, some intellectuals dig up the past and accuse that the girls are habitual beaters and male haters and finally the state government decides to put hold on the felicitation of the girls. 

The accusation against the girls are -

1. They fabricated the case in the bus and unnecessarily beat up the boys.

How stupid! You think in India where girls are so unsafe, without any rhyme or reason would go to this extent. The fact they tried to call the women helpline 1091 before defending themselves has been conveniently ignored in this story.

2. They are habitual beaters

Last time they beat up another youth, he was also a molester. In India most girls and women quietly suffer such harassment that are almost everyday affair for them. Few dare to stand up and fight. What else they are supposed to do? Quietly let the molesters and rapists unleash their demonic acts? Pramod Kumar very rightly wrote on First Post - "So what if there's a second video? We should still celebrate Rohtak sisters".

3. The girls carry belts in their bag
One of the women who was also in the bus said, "It was all planned. Why would the girls carry a men's belt in their bag?" Even if they did, what other choice they have? I know many girls and women who carry pepper sprays etc, in their bags since they know that at every corner of this land, there is a habitual molester or rapist on the prowl. 

The fact that these sisters have received death threats after this incident and faced with a social charge against them have offered to the police to undergo Narco Test to prove their innocence are clear indicators that truth has been buried under bags of lies and hypocrisy.

It is shameful that these brave girls have been pushed to this extent and have to face so much social ostracism and have to try so hard to prove their innocence despite being the sufferers. 

The international media on the other hand has celebrated the bravery of these girls. And here most of us instead of supporting and celebrating these brave hearts have gone and done character assassination of these girls. 

After this every girl, every women in this nation would fear even more to stand up and fight these molesters and rapists because here the victim is guilty till she proves herself innocent and the criminal molester enjoys social protection. 

Shame on us!

BEST TEACHER

"I really can't believe it....
the day has come...when the best teacher in the whole wide world is leaving!!!
i hope that all the CBSE NISVians have understood what i am talking about....
dearest Diya Ma'am ,
you brought tears to my eyes today ! this was the first time i ever cried in school!!
ma'am you r very very veryyyyy close to our hearts!!
we love you a lot!!
ma'am please do come often to visit us at school!!
we will never forget you !!
i hope even you won’t!!
WE LOVE YOU A TON!!!
WE WILL MISS YOU ALOT!!

love you ma'am.........

from Reetika

— :-( feeling broken."

This moving message on Facebook by my niece about her best teacher was indeed straight from her heart. The helplessness and sadness at watching her best teacher leave is clearly evident in every phrase of her emotionally charged update. Curious about why she felt so strongly for her Diya Ma’am, Reetika told me in very few words the making of a great teacher. Excellent teacher, Diya ma’am was one who had a unique way of correcting the mistakes of her students. Never the one to lose her temper, nor did she raise her voice on the students. Instead Diya ma’am’s words of reason and motivation always worked magic on everyone and even the naughtiest and most stubborn souls relented. ‘There was only one Diya ma’am!’ – Reetika signed off.

Déjà vu moment!!! I am sure we all have experienced similar heartbreaks at losing our teacher who became our world, who transformed us and who provided us that extra bouncing pad that turned around our life – that teacher, My Best Teacher.

Mrs. Swamy my first teacher changed my life and the course of my life, something which I realized years later. Even after 37 years she remains ingrained in my memory and my gratitude for her grows with every passing day. Mrs. Swamy was my kindergarten teacher by accident. Yes, by accident or say by chance!

Admitted into one of the best schools in that city, my weaning away from my parents was not a smooth one. Not ready to go to school easily, my constant blubbering had my original designated kindergarten teacher literally pulling her hairs to ends. Completely clueless how to engage me in the class and contain my passionate howling, in a few days, I had become the centre of comic attraction for everyone. And then one day when I sneaked out of the college premises during school hours to go home my adventure proved too much for the comfort of my principal. I was promptly sent back home with a written note from the principal ‘ Do not send your ward to school from tomorrow’.

Today I can perhaps understand the helplessness that my parents would have felt at this juncture. Next day my parents took me to school and met the principal, a kind of last ditch effort to save me in the school. But our Anglo-Indian principal was firm on his decision. He did not want to risk it anymore especially after my effort to escape the four walls of the school. My parents were crestfallen – one at their failure to enroll me to a school and second at the fact that I was being turned away from a very good school after gaining entry in the same.

Mrs. Swamy another kindergarten teacher in the same school, who had witnessed all my crying and drama stepped in like an angel at this stage. She became my accidental teacher. Understanding me and my parent’s state, she offered to keep me in her section at her own risk for a week to see if this worked. Even principal did not know about this and Mrs. Swamy took a huge risk by keeping me in. I faintly remember that once inside the class, how she first let me cry to my heart’s content. Then came the recess and Mrs. Swamy took me in her lap and put me on the table in front of her. She opened my tiffin as well as her lunch box. I forgot my crying. She felt like mother. We both ate our tiffin together and there started our friendship. By the end of the first week, I was coming to her class happily. I waited for the recess and as the bell rang, I was on Mrs. Swamy’s desk with my tiffin. Principal sir, at seeing my remarkable progress under Mrs. Swamy’s tutelage allowed me to continue. A year passed and I was promoted to the next class. That was the last time Mrs. Swamy taught me but I kept progressing and stayed for 12 long years in that school.

Till today I feel that my schooling had a tremendous impact on me and shaped me in a way. It all would not have been possible without Mrs. Swamy.

'Mrs. Swamy wherever you are, I owe this to you and I want to say a big THANK YOU!!!'

Going back to Reetika, my niece, she told me that her Diya Mam was very understanding. She understood the concerns, anxieties and aspirations of her students. Something that made Diya ma’am standout in the crowd.

Generation Z kids (born 2000 and later) are different and need to be understood and appreciated more than anything else. A word of reason works much more than a coercion; a word of appreciation is a much bigger motivation than a certificate or a medallion.

Every teacher can be the best teacher if they make an attempt to understand the Gen Z kids – tech-savvy, very aware and very inquisitive. Remember they are much more assertive and will not accept anything without understanding the reason behind the same. Content expertise of a teacher today is a default assumption. A great teacher understands his/her students and knows a way to talk to them that can make them do wonders. Mrs. Swamy was ahead of her age I guess and Diya ma’am is right in the groove.

Understanding is the key to engagement. May Reetika, her friends and all kids find more of Diya ma’am and Mrs. Swamy.

Temporary is the new Permanent.

Temporary is the new permanent. Modern social and professional existence comes with high level of temporariness.

Employees, co-workers, neighbours, friends and relationships - all are temporary. In this uncertain, connected, global world, opportunities are not evenly distributed. The unevenness of this distribution throws people from one end of this planet to another, fueling mobility and temporariness.

Foe Generation Z kids as their parents move, their friends change; their teachers change jobs, their classroom changes; their moms and dads migrate, their city and neighbourhood changes.

For young adults, the millennial, they change their work organization, their managers and co-workers change; they break-up, their boy-friends/girl-friends change; their friends change, their place to hang-out changes and then their profile photos and updates change every other day.

And then suddenly one day a stray explosion somewhere changes everything...for everybody.

Coping with Temporariness

Coping with temporariness is both an opportunity as much it is a challenge. It could be incredibly rewarding, at the same time it could also be quite unsettling and at times, even emotionally draining. 

For individuals it could mean better rewards, better pay, global trotting and a glamorous lifestyle, it could also mean loss of friends, loved ones, absence of support system and emotional turmoil at times.

For organization the temporariness in the environment means coping with uncertain business contexts that could mean both blessing and curse; this temporariness on one hand may mean gaining access to talent, it may also means losing them to the accelerated global mobility. 

While organization try to cope up with this temporariness by building flexibility in their business models and of their workforce by improving engagement. 

When it comes to individuals, while those who develop high degree of adaptability are upto the challenge and cope with temporariness, others struggle and at times crumble under pressure. Not surprisingly stress related symptoms are on the rise - some call it the cost of prosperity.

Kids of the Times

It will be interesting to see how today's kids, the Generation Z, are conditioned in this era of temporariness. It could mean high levels of adaptability in them when they grow-up, but it may also mean emotional vulnerability and fragility. Growing up in times such as these, will they ever believe in permanent relationships be it be their personal life, social relations or professional assignments? How will this social conditioning affect them? What role would parents, teachers and society have so that temporariness impacts these kids in a positive way and they do not grow-up to be emotional wrecks. 

Interesting considerations.

Can We Save Our Kids?

I know this comes a bit late but these incidents had left me numb in my senses.

A spate of grave sexual abuse incidents of kids in Bangalore and the rest of the country has left most of us shocked, shaken and in utter disbelief. How could someone stoop so low? How could someone subject the kids to such torture? 

How could the perpetrators of such crime not see the innocence of those kids, the helplessness in their eyes and the pain in their screams? How could they do something as gruesome and as heartless? How could they….

The shock and anger does not subside. 

Worse it comes from people on whom kids put their maximum trust. Sometimes the perpetrator is a teacher, sometimes a school staff and at other times close family members. And even worse it happens at places which the kids thought was most secure - school and home.

Recent statistics (read link) destroy you from inside and  you start to lose faith on humanity itself. 

However we cannot give-up, for the sake of the kids. 

But we have to rise from the ashes and protect our kids, all kids from such demonic cannibals. 

A need for moral revolution is sourly felt. Moral corruption of the society could be devastating.  Unfortunately it is so rampant that the horizon appears dark. Hence moral discourses cannot be the change maker. Often the people who deliver such discourses are the ones who have been found to be doing nefarious activities in the garb of being Godmen.

Then what? Frankly I am clueless...Can we protect our kids? How?

FEAR as a tool for Managing People

‘The image of my physical training instructor at the school standing with a stick in his hand and making us do drills has still not faded my mind’ – one of my colleagues was telling me the other day. We were discussing the use of fear as a tool for managing people. He continued – ‘We used to hate all our drills and exercises just because of ‘Sir’. In fact we never liked him. We used to think that he was really a bad person whose only objective was to terrorize children. However many years later after passing-out from school when I met him, he was not keeping particularly well and was bed-ridden. I had gone to pay a visit to him with one of my school friends, knowing about his condition. I had been kind of forced by my friend to visit ‘Sir’. I was initially very hesitant to talk to him. But as the conversation progressed I understood that he was not a bad person. He too had a ‘heart’. However he had an unhappy life. His only son had left him after college because of his extreme strictness, for his penchant to talk with the stick then with words and to enforce his choices and decisions on him. He lamented his behaviour with his son. But it was too late perhaps. His wife had died a few years earlier. He was all alone. I felt really bad for him. However I still couldn’t reconcile with the image that I had of him in my mind as a physical training instructor…’

Fear works faster than any other tool when it comes to managing people, but it comes with a huge baggage of side effects that does not wear -off easily. Fear may achieve short-term objectives with ease however may not only jeopardizes long term purposes but also become successful in scarring people for lives.

One of the families I know, the children and the spouse of a gentleman are happier when their father/husband is touring or is in the office more than when he is at home. He unleashes fear amongst his spouse and his children and they literally are on tenterhooks when he is around. What a misfortune for that gentleman, I thought…his own family despises him.

Fear is many times also unleashed in name of discipline. I do not think both words are quite synonymous.   In fact fear-based discipline is like a spring that has been pressed hard by a palm and as soon as the pressure of the palm ceases, the spring recoils, rebounds and jumps away. You know what I mean… The effects of fear are short-lived and once the cause of fear is gone, people may answer that oppression with a huge boomerang.

I have often heard moms or dads disciplining their toddlers or kids by invoking fear in them, sometimes of the unknown spirit, sometimes of the monster waiting behind the curtains and sometimes of the stick. The impact many times may in terms of growing kids who are fearful and unsure.

Fear-based management of employees leads to a disengaged workforce who tend to develop the ‘yes Boss’ attitude. A team of ‘yes-men’ puts the company in peril for no one dares to differ or say the truth. Fear rules, everything else fails.

Similarly a country that is ruled on the basis of fear is destroyed from within. History is evidence to the damage that fear has done to some nations. Contrary to that, there is also evidence of nations where individual liberty has been respected and upheld, have marched far ahead of others. North and South Korea are excellent contrast in that respect.

Even when it comes to God, most people fear god and few love him. That is why all these touts and middle agents of religion take us for a ride and make us fight over religion, make us scapegoats in the name of religion and in return make a fortune out of it. Mahatma Gandhi had once said – ‘Where there is fear there is no religion. Fearlessness is the first requisite of spirituality. Cowards can never be moral.’

When does fear work?

A person should only fear when he/she does something wrong that dangers or encroaches the liberty of others. Fear should be invoked for correction in such cases but with extreme caution and in very measured doses. That should only to secure the endangered liberty of the innocent individuals. Hence this is reserved only for habitual offenders and criminals.

For correction of everyday normal individuals fear should be the last resort and not the first or the immediate one. Even if some fear has to be instilled then that should be done with care so as to not to scar people, especially children, and should be done with an intent of helping the individuals to be corrected and not for venting frustration.

The end result should be to liberate and not captivate. The latter is something that fear does more often than not and with disastrous consequences.

The Contrasting Lives of Senzo Meyiwa and Oscar Pistorius

Two men, two athletes and such contrasting lives. One took a bullet defending his girlfriend from armed intruders who attacked her house and the other pumped bullets in his girlfriend’s body to sniff life out of a young soul.

Senzo Meyiwa  the South African football captain and star died a couple of days back when his girlfriend’s house was attacked by armed intruders. He reportedly was shot while trying to save his girlfriend. Senzo was in true sense a star, backbone of the South African football and very dear to his team mates and his countrymen. He died like a hero.

On the other hand, Oscar Pistorius the champion blade runner was convicted, also a couple of days back, for murdering his girlfriend. Oscar claiming the incident to be an accident could not escape prosecution. In one of the most publicly reported trial, anger for Oscar only grew as disturbing truth and facts about him started coming to light. He was reportedly described as a one with serious behavioural issue and his relationship with his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp, whom he shot dead, was also reportedly coming to an end. Reeva had reportedly packed her bags to leave Oscar on the fateful night when she was shot dead.

What turns a person into a selfless hero and on the other hand what turns a hero into a villain? Is it genetics, environment or situation or a combination of all three? Does environment play a major role or does the situation dominate in bringing out good and evil out of people? 

PhilipZimbardo said that a bad situation turns good people into bad people but it also could produce a hero amongst them. Why Oscar and Senzo despite their individual sporting heroics come out as two different persons? Why Senzo did not save his life considering that he had a whole sporting career ahead of him? And did Oscar kill his girlfriend to prevent the world from knowing the real ugly truths about him?

These questions would keep lingering and would keep social psychologists busy. However Senzo to me remains the real hero and man who stood his ground selflessly and took the bullet on his chest while protecting his family.

Brave Senzo, RIP.

The Abandoned Baby...

What would you call the parents of a child who became not only a Olympian at an young age but went to become one of the greatest gymnast that the world has seen - a member of the US dream team. I mean the parents would have to do a lot with the success of the child, isn't it? Indeed they had. But hold on to your judgments for sometime...

The child in consideration is none other than DominiqueMoceanu, the youngest of USA's magnificent seven. Dominique's father was focused right from the beginning in raising her to become a sporting star.

All this changed overnight many years later. After a sterling and successful career, when Dominique was about to become mom herself, a mysterious letter revealed an ugly family secret. When she was just 6 years old, Dominique's mother gave birth to another girl Jennifer , whom Dominique would never see or play with. For Jennifer was born without legs and Dominique's parents decided to give her up for adoption. Dominique's father was too hard focused on his target to raise his first child as a sporting star to keep a child born with disability.

Jennifer went on to be adopted by a very loving family who raised her with pride and dignity. Interestingly, Jennifer even without legs, went on to become a power tumbler, volleyball player and performer. Thanks to a clerical error during adoption that helped the two sisters have a emotional reunion many years back.

Contrastingly, for Dominique, though raised by her biological parents, had to emancipate herself from them. Allegedly Dominique's father siphoned - off millions of dollars of her Olympic prize money and even physically assaulted her.

Becoming a parent is a tremendous feeling and nothing short of blessing of the almighty. But parenthood is in accepting a child irrespective of gender, abilities and any other ‘criteria and raising them with love and care, without for a single moment thinking that we are doing any favour to our children. The greatest favour a parent does is to himself or herself – it is the labour of love.

But becoming biological parent does not always mean that they have parenthood; and parenthood need not be a function of giving birth to children, else the world would not have seen a Mother Teresa. Dominique’s father’s karma caught-up with him sooner or later – he eventually lost both his daughters one to his butcher merchant mentality and the other to his greed.

Very recently, an Australian couple, who had twin surrogatebabies in India, decided to leave back one of them based on gender. Despite repeated requests by the agency that helped them through surrogacy, they left back one of them and took only one of the babies with them. They reportedly already had a baby back in Australia and did not want to repeat that gender. Hence they just took back one of the twin surrogate babies.

How could they do something like this? Its beyond my comprehension - have we lost our heart? What would happen to the other twin baby left back in India? Will she grow-up like an orphan? What would be the emotional turmoil that that baby would go through … who will nurture her??? 

Not so long ago another Australian couple left behind theirsurrogate child in Thailand after they found that the child has been born with Down’s syndrome. The couple who also had surrogate twins decided to take the healthy child with them leaving the one born with syndrome behind them.

Is child nothing more than a commodity? Were these couples doing baby-shopping?

I am sure that karma will catch-up with these parents as well but my heart goes out to those babies who have no clue that their parents have abandoned them for life, for their own selfish drives.

In another controversial move few companies have started to give cash incentives to women workers for freezing their eggs. If you are wondering what freezing of eggs is – in very simple terms it is suspending motherhood without worrying for the ticking biological clock. Motherhood and corporate career have never gone hand-in-hand owing to the weird policies, at times or unidirectional ambition or due to chauvinistic male partners, at other times. So some companies want their successful women employees to suspend their motherhood or in simple terms pay them to freeze their eggs during the fertile years and suspend motherhood for another day.

Having a child, bringing-up the child and seeing him or her grow, take every little step forward is the most beautiful feeling in life. People who abandon their babies have lost the most valuable treasure on this planet. 

May every abandoned child find a family like Jennifer found, find parents like she found, who may not have given birth to her but nurtured her with the glowing love of parenthood. May such children blessed with hearts that love, hands that care and the ones who hold them to their bosom when they need a hug of reassurance. Humanity and parenthood is after all not completely dead on this world.

If an Idea Can Change Your Life, a Nobel Idea Can Change Lives of Millions!!!

Mediocre people talk about people, others talk about incidents and great people talk about ideas!!!

Kailash Satyarthi had a Nobel Idea many years back that changed not only his life but the lives of millions of children in India forced to work as child labours. His relentless and silent pursuit towards freeing children of bondage of work and giving them back their beautiful childhood has been finally recognized, by none other than the highest awarding body in the world. A Noble for Peace is not only a recognition to Kailash Satyarthi's mission but a shot-in-the-arm of all those working towards eradicating child labour in India and in the entire sub-continent.

Despite Kailash Satyarthi's Noble Prize winning effort, much remains to be done. Key to uprooting the evil of child labour lies in knowing and eliminating causes that force a child into becoming a labour. Media reports emerging after announcement of Noble to Kailash that India's national capital is also the hub of child trafficking and child labour. Large number of kids trafficked from poorer centres of the country work as labours in the capital in inhumane and often dangerous conditions. Pity and shame on us.

A civilization's image is determined by how it treats its women and children. And we have fared abysmally low in that grade. Till women continue to be unsfae and children remain vulnerable in our country, we may suspend this pride that we often have on thousands of years old civilization that we have inherited, 

More strength and life to Kailash Satyarthi and people like him who lead the fight against exploitation of children.

To such angels like Kailash and to those millions of children who suffer in our nation, I dedicate these two poems of mine. I wrote both of them in my growing up years, more than two decades back and reflect my feelings and frustration at watching children suffer the devil of trafficking and  the curse of child labour -

A Child called Labour

This is not a song of bliss and solace,

nor a praise of a maiden’s beauty and grace.

Neither is it an epitome of courage and valour,

but a story of a child called labour.

The protagonist is none of great grandeur,

nor a one shining in impeccable splendour,

He is the one coloured with grease and paint,

smelling sweat that makes 'delicate' faint.

The earth laps him up like a mother,

the sky provides him his only shelter.

The ‘vagabond’, the ‘renounced’, the ‘solitary’,

he is the ‘forsaken’, made to work and to carry.

He sweats and bleeds from day to dusk,

perhaps for that ever  eluding  musk.

But that musk eludes him forever,

for he is destined to cry & to suffer.

The poor soul rolls the heavy cart,

the little hands  toil hard in the mart.

The factories swallow him with the siren.

the furnace melts childhood along with iron.

A cruel dream dawns on him every morning,

the whip of  reality and reasoning.

When cozily wrapped are the privileged bod,

working are these children of a lesser god.

The nature makes a mockery of his state,

the ‘cruel rain’ washes off his fate.

He is burnt by the ungracious summer,

and frozen by the freezing winter.

After  the day’s work, where to, is he led,

but to the pavement, to his only bed;

Where in the dirty linen patched with worries,

he drowns his pains and miseries.

Then comes the call of the reason,

Which makes him work in every season,

One that so often has made him to blubber,

the ‘fire’ in the stomach called hunger.

A piece of bread or left out of the master,

is all in the name of food, that he can muster.

Soulfully he looks at the delicacy,

an  earning of joy and ecstasy.

But  oh! someone plays a brazen game,

Our heads sink with unfathomable shame,

When the’ hound of humanity’ manages to cope,

and snatches away his food and his hope.

Dazed by his fate he looks at the sky,

he doesn't know whether to laugh or to cry,

Is this his tryst with destiny,

full of horror, pain and agony?

He closes his eyes to resent his fears,

but does sleep come in eyes full of tears!

His tears are lost in the darkness of the night,

for no one is touched by his sorrow & his plight.

***

Little Kishen

In a small corner

away from the teaming crowd,

sat Kishen, the little boy,

covered in a shroud.

Tears rolled down his cheeks

as he cried in pain,

disgraced by the cruelty of his master,

he had been whipped again.

While cleaning the bowl of milk,

his childhood had made a wish,

to taste the left-out drops of elixir

that other privileged relish.

But cruel was his fate,

like the world and his master,

who kicked and abused him

for this ‘unpardonable blunder’.

His mistake was to dream,

to make simple wishes of life,

for he was poor and downtrodden,

destined to struggle in strife.

Nine delicate years in this world,

an age for sweets and toy,

Kishen had so longed

even for a moment of joy.

Destined to work tirelessly

from the day he lost his father,

he toiled to make both ends meet,

to fend himself and his sick mother.

The day even since

with his small hands,

he searched for the mirage

in the myriad of sand.

By now hunger, thirst and pain

had pushed the young soul

into an unconscious sleep;

Or was it curtain to his role?

Rain splashed on his body,

rudely awaking him to reality,

as he struggled to stand

he was mocked by humanity.

Drenched all over,

he trudged shivering in cold.

Suddenly he fell across

when he could no more hold.

The storm had passed,

as had the night,

there lay near the roadside

an object motionless in white.

Motionless, lifeless,

he was like a stone.

Kishen had died

his mother left behind to moan.

Onlookers and passer-byes

stopped for a while out of curiosity;

Mercifully they threw some coins;

Even a coffin was in scarcity.

Kishen’s mother couldn’t cry any more,

for even the tears had dried,

as she stared at the coins

for which her son had died.

She lifted her dead son,

lovingly in her arms,

and walked towards the cemetery

leaving behind the alms.

She cried and smiled

and screamed in pain -

“How many more Kishens have to die

of poverty and disdain?”

***

What We Want, What We Choose...

'Unlimited Beverages, widest spread of buffet, DJ Avik in the house... my weekend is sorted' - that's what was playing on the morning radio show.

A seemingly excited guy in a radio  advert. making this proclamation of his perfect weekend.

Sorted? Really!

I have always found a dichotomy between what we want and what we choose.

All week long we crave for time for ourselves and family, yet we make ourselves more busy during the weekend.

All week long we choose some time to relax, yet we choose to find no peace.

In our life we want to be happy, yet we choose means that never make us happy.

We earn a lot to spend, yet we never find time to spend.

We want to spend to be happy, yet most of the times we spend to show to others what we can.

We, more times than not, choose what we actually never wanted and want what we never end-up choosing.

Strange!

Discipline is not necessarily following rules !!!

Discipline is not necessarily following rules!!!

Sounds a bit weird!

Is indiscipline then necessarily not following rules?

Consider this -

When I was still in my Alma mater, we had a teacher who was never comfortable with the ultra formal wear made necessary as an office wear. He used to be in his Safari suit or wear his shirt untucked. However I can vouch for anything that he was perhaps the best teacher we had. He was an excellent researcher as well. Everyone thought that he was a bit eccentric considering that he would turn-up to work in his lab at odd hours. But he was unmatched when it came to his knowledge and teachings.

In short, his attire or choice of working hours had no implications whatsoever on his effectiveness. There were others all decked-up but much ado about nothing really to do is a waste at the end of the day, isn't it?

In contrast, in an organization where people are customer-facing and where image-building is a part of organizational strategy, like hospitality, attire may carry significant value.

Should then there be a common accepted norm of working. Yes.

Then what is indiscipline? 

Indiscipline in my opinion is a intentional involvement of an individual or groups of individuals in behaviour or act that hinders the liberty, effectiveness and/or wellness of co-workers or causes loss/damage to the organization.

What is discipline?

Discipline is respecting the rights and space of other individuals, following a commonly accepted norm of behaviour and weighing one's action that no way causes any loss or damage or tarnish the image of oneself or of colleagues and of the organization.

Self-discipline is the best discipline!!!

Finally, the question, how should discipline be ensured and who should ensure the same? Enforcing or imposing discipline is the worst form of disciplining and is  rooted to the traditional belief that discipline is about creating a set of rigid rules and then forcing people to follow the same.

The 'Ones' who discipline must first discipline themselves!!! Charity begins at home, remember.

Then, it is about creating an environment of trust, openness, rationality and responsibility where individuals learn to discipline themselves. Self-discipline take a bit longer to learn but is much more shared, followed and long-lasting.

Infact the best place to teach self-discipline is school and best time to teach are the formative years of an individual. But adults can also be taught the value of self-discipline. I have enough evidences of the same.

Engagement to the concept of  discipline is necessary for its practice and the same happens only by understanding the right meaning of discipline and knowing the right way of sharing it among the community.

9 Ideas of Human Existence - Which One is Your's?

Fathima one of the recent contestants on KBC (TV Quiz Show) stood apart from all who have walked in to the show, including the host, for her rare courage and determination. Abused as a 9 year old child she fought her family and the society to not only pull herself out but many other similar girls out of prostitution.

Fathima could have succumbed to her circumstances as many others do, but she made right decisions and fought hard to save herself. Then she could have easily saved herself and escaped the hell. That would have still made her a hero and she would have been right in doing that. But then she stood her ground and saved many other girls from forced prostitution. Today she runs an NGO and works for such girls and saves them from flesh trade.

Why did Fathima do all this? Why she stood-up for not only herself but also for others?

Fathima is an example of combination of good judgement and courage.

In fact when I tried to make alchemy of the power of judgement and courage interesting personality types started to emerge. I call them 9 Existential Personality Types.

In other words, when you combine individuals’ power of judgement and individual courage you get 9 types of human existence-personalities. Here take a look –

1.    Engaged Citizenry: They have extremely good power of judgement and have high individual courage. They stand-up for right issues and fight for others. Their existence is that of an engaged citizenry. They are selfless and high on empathy. Fathima and people like her fall in this type.

2.       Self-Activists: They also have good power of judgement but are not as courageous as the activists. Hence I call them ‘self-activists’. Also for the reasons that they always stand-up for themselves or for people very close to them on issues that are relevant and should be fought. They love their family and themselves. They also believe that each one should fight their on battles and would speak or act in a social issue only if it does not bring any harm to them or to their family.

3.       Critics: People in this type make both correct and incorrect judgement, at times. They are high on individual courage though and do not fear to speak their mind. They are the ‘Critics’. But as all critics do, sometimes they get it right and other times they do get it wrong. Hence many times they may not act as much they speak as they are not always confident of their judgement and constantly seek affirmation.

4.       Bull Fighters: I have always believed that traditional bull fighters in Spain are very courageous but pick up the wrong animal to fight, although it is played as a sport. In short, although they are courageous their judgement levels are questionable. You may call this type as bull fighters or blind-folded bulls themselves.

5.       Defenders: Mediocre levels of judgement and medium-level of individual courage, ‘Defenders’ are always trying to save their backs. They tread with caution and they believe that defence is the best form of offence. They tend to avoid situations as they are unsure about what to do or how to react to the variables at play.

6.       Fickle Mass: The rolling brinjal on a curved plate – this is the fickle-minded mass for you. They do not have good powers of judgement and are easily swayed by the wave. They move with the crowd and change sides by looking at which one weighs heavier. Politicians love them!

7.       Timid: Blessed with good powers of judgement, but too timid to speak-up…Yes, you got it right; they are the ‘Timid’. They complain and criticize in closed circles but can never gather enough courage to speak their mind or stand-up, not even for themselves. Why me? Why should I? – somethings that ‘timid’ constantly ask.

8.       Flatterers: Mediocre on their judgement abilities and inhibited by their cowardice they resort to flattery for their existence. They are extremely low on their self-esteem.

9.       Crawlers: Pity on the poor 'crawlers' for they never ever developed right judgement abilities, whether for their genes or for their ignorance, and are also too scared to fight back. They toil and bleed silently and allow themselves to be exploited.

Earlier research on personality proves that personality is a combination of genes (or what one gets from their parents by birth), conditioning (environment in which an individual grows-up) and situation.

Judgement and individual courage are partly determined by ones’ genes but a large part of it can be conditioned. Good judgement comes from experience and experience comes from making mistakes. But while some people learn from their mistakes, others never learn. Highly protected environment breed timid and conversely a different environment can build individual courage and self-esteem.

A big challenge in writing this piece was to ask myself which is my ‘type’. And an even bigger challenge that lies ahead would be to decide which ‘type’ I want my child grow up to be, for conditioning will play a major role. And we as parents will be held accountable.

Holy Cow!!

The other day a cab driver slowed down suddenly in front of my car. Morning rush hours, such behaviour is even more irritating. I was curious why he slowed down suddenly. The cabbie rolled down his glasses and touched the ‘holy cow’ in the middle of the road and paid his obeisance.  I couldn't think of a more inappropriate place, time or manner for one to worship. Welcome to India!

A few meters ahead, the cabbie still driving ahead of me almost mowed down a pedestrian. The cabbie who was at fault, rolled down his glasses again and screamed cuss words towards the pedestrian and sped away.

What a contrast in a matter of minutes! Pleasing the God one moment and then ill-treating a creation of the same almighty the other moment. Will the Gods really be happy? – I thought in my mind.

Fasting, worshiping and other religious rituals have been steadfastly followed by devout beings yet many times they forget to show a little bit of compassion to the their fellow creatures. I would rather do the opposite. 

I un-belong to all religious rituals, customs and traditions – did God really ask us to perform all these and go through all this sacraments? Will this please the God? Or will a little compassion and kindness in our hearts for others, may not be charity but at least our behaviour that treats people with empathy and dignity will make this world a much better place and even Gods happier.

I wonder! 

Paradox of Power

Power should be given to those who want it least. Sounds paradoxical? But then in life most paradoxes are true. Material pleasure gives us happiness but seldom fulfillment and all that gives fulfillment in life may not necessarily give us pleasure in life.

Power rests lightly on the shoulders of those who do not yearn for it. They exhibit empathy and become custodians, often guardians of power using it in the right measure at the right time for right purposes. They never see power as a means to achieve their ends. For them experiencing the journey of life is much more meaningful than the destination where it takes them.

On the contrary, those who crave for power consume it with insatiable thirst and in the process get consumed by power itself. They get drunk with power and in that heady feeling forget the very purpose for which power was entrusted on them. Power becomes a tool in their hands and they use it ruthlessly to achieve their ends and means do not matter to them anymore. Power corrupts them and they corrupt power positions.

World  and the many organizations in it would have been a much better place had power rested on its guardians. Ironically though, in this world most people who get power belong to the latter category.

The Empathetic Boss - New Airtel Ad.

Some feminists have criticized this advertisement by asking why should the woman always cook? But they forgot to see that the woman was also the boss at workplace! Beyond habitual fault-finders the new Airtel advertisements aims to capture the altering relationship structures in the society, where at the same time family continues to stay relevant. It also portrays the new age empowered lady who can take charge, and not lose empathy while doing so. The result is quite 'engaging.

Just some weekend thoughts or say food for thought :-)

Citizens Fear, Criminals Dare...

'The society is not so endangered by the sinners as much by the inefficiency and corruption of the upholders and custodians of law and justice.' For the latter not only gives perpetrators of crime a free lease but also creates an impotent system that gives the smelling scum-minds waiting on the rink a reason to unleash their dirty monstrous deeds. Such an inefficient and corrupt system succeeds in achieving just the opposite of what it was envisaged to do through its establishment. It creates fear in hearts and minds of innocent  and unarmed citizens and emboldens the criminals on the prowl.

Unfortunately we live in a society and a nation that nests such a system. The outcomes of the same are visible all around us. Look around and you may find a politician who got a bail in an cognizable offence, an accused who got a freewheel because his case never came up for hearing owing to huge backlog of cases, a criminal who was never arrested because of his local clout, a innocent who was wrongly accused and fights for his honour all his life since his case hearing-dates keep coming for 20 years...by the time he gets justice it means nothing to him for he has lost his youth, money and peace of mind.

As if the fact that India's legal system has 30 million case judicial backlog, the highest anywhere in the world was not enough to weigh us down that a former justice of the apex court of the nation recently alleged misappropriation by the highest offices of the nation in appointment of judges in Indian courts.

Engagement is built on the fabric of trust. Will the innocent be protected and the criminal be punished? Can a ordinary citizen have the same chance of getting timely justice as the rich, powerful and influential? Can the most vulnerable be protected? Would a deserving get justice or it will be delayed or denied? Trust will depend on answers of these questions.

Do the answers build trust? If not, will answers change in future?

When Incivility and Insensitivity is a Norm...

Lack of civility and sensitivity towards fellow human beings has reached appalling levels. We see that almost everywhere around us - on roads, in malls, in public institutions... Hence news like few Indian members of Parliament force feeding a cafeteria manager to register their protest for poor quality of food should not come as a surprise.

After all our MPs have thrown mikes, slipper and other unimaginable missiles at each other inside the 'house' in the past. Many members of the state legislatures have followed the suit. There have been incidents where a public servant has been slapped or abused by such elected representatives of the democracy for just doing his duty.

Despite this they are called 'leaders' and enjoy special privileges everywhere that common citizens never have access to. Wonder, if this is rewarding incivility and insensitivity? Worst they are said to be example-setters for the society. In fact some school children may put to shame some of our so called 'leaders'. They show much greater levels of empathy, sensitivity and civil behaviour. Wonder again, who should really be learning from the other!

A year back when we went to Bangkok, one incident really affected me deeply, although it could be brushed aside or ignored by many as insignificant. I along with my wife and kid were to cross a 'Soi' or a lane. When we were about half way on the lane, we saw a cab coming from one of the sides of the road. Going by our Indian experience we thought it is better to wait and not take chance with a cab and let it pass-by. To our utter surprise the cab stopped and politely waited for us to cross the road. The incident however insignificant it may appear really touched me. I had never experienced anything similar in my country. And this could not be passed over as one random gesture,. While travelling through the city, I observed most Thai cab drivers ( and there are plenty, considering that Bangkok is hot tourist destination) were much more disciplined and sensitive towards other motorists and pedestrians.

Now when I drive, sometimes I stop for people crossing the road, especially women and children. And I must tell you, every time I have pleasantly surprised many. School-going children have glanced back and thanked me or just smiled, ditto many other grown-up people have done too. I know they did not expect this and believe me such gestures have never delayed me for my destination. I am more happy driving. I hope each one of them now are more sensitive on the road. Civility and Sensitivity starts from us and our behaviour, after all!

Engagement, be it at a cognitive or emotional level, has sensitivity & empathy built-in the core. Incivility and insensitivity can never be engaging.

Are'leaders' listening...