Violence against Women - Need to Revive the Nirbhaya (The Fearless) Soul

Violence and Apathy

"Sorry to say this. The only responsible is womens. Why God created to Mens, the one and only reason to protect women. If womens roaming outside in skirts, half pants, doing makeups and all these things will happens. Women better to serve their husband and children at home.Whatever the actions will take from the government they cannot protect women with that." - This was the first comment posted by a reader below a news report in largest English daily in India regarding a 30 year old woman allegedly gangraped near a tennis club in Bangalore by security guards about two weeks back,.  

The commentator obviously not only got his english grammar messed up but has got a sick mindset as well. Such comments are not new that malign and chastise women victims of violence and harassment, putting the blame on them instead on the perpetrator. 

Violence against women is not a new as well in this country. According to ‘United Nation Population Fund Report’, around two-third of married Indian women are victims of Domestic Violence attacks and as many as 70 per cent of married women in India between the age of 15 and 49 are victims of beating, rape or forced sex. In India, more than 55 percent of the women suffer from Domestic Violence, especially in the states of Bihar, U.P., M.P. and other northern states. But domestic violence is not the only violence that women face in India. Rape, Dowry related torture and deaths, female infanticide, molestation, incidents are rampant in the country.Recently a rising star director of the famous Bollywood film industry was arrested on charges of domestic violence against his wife that included harassment, forced medical treatment for lunacy and forcible custody of the couple's kids. No wonder India ranks 127th on gender inequality index out of 142 countries.

Several Voices...

In the recent times, especially after the Nirbhaya incident at the national capital Delhi, there have been rise in voice against such atrocities. Media has started to highlight such issues much more. The activists are trying to represent through petition signing and protests. Public in general has lot more curiosity and interest in knowing about such violence against women and girls.

There have been several voices in this nation who believe that lack of awareness among women about their rights especially legal rights, lack of women empowerment, social conditioning are the primary causes why such incidents occur. The drive for creating awareness by activists is more intense then before and NGOs working in such areas also seem to get a lot of foreign funding.

Worrisome Statistics - Pertinent Questions

Despite all this, you will be shocked to know that the statistics of violence against women has only shown sharp increase in the recent years over previous years. One would expect that after all this hue and cry and activism, the cases of violence against women will show decline. on the contrary, the incidents have not only increased but the boldness and the ruthlessness of the perpetrators have left everyone stunned. Nirbhaya like incident has been repeated in other parts of the country, including Bangalore. The sexual assault of baby girls in some Bangalore schools have traumatized people.

From cab drivers, to school instructors, from husbands to khap panchayats no one has left any stone unturned to make life more difficult for women. 

The question is WHY?

Why has statistics of violence against women shown rise over past years?
Why did awareness drives and activism did not yield desired results?
Why women continue to be brutalized in a nation where almost 50% of the population is of females?

The reality is baffling and does not seem to offer any respite.

Why Only Women Can Change the Tide...

The solution to end the pitiable state of women in this nation comes from women themselves. No one else can do what they can themselves do to stop violence and atrocities against them. History is evidence that revolutions have been successful only when the people themselves have risen against the tyrant. Until such time when each one individual has himself or herself realized the need for change within, the change never became possible. Women also face the same situation here today. Women need not be told to fight violence, the day they say enough is enough and each of them decide to fight this no matter what, the scenario will change. 

Traditional Arguments Do No Good to Women

I refuse to accept all traditional arguments of activists and disagree fundamentally with their approach of women betterment. 

Let us look at some such arguments and how they do not hold any mettle for improving the state of women in this country - 

Lack of awareness is the reason why women tolerate violence?

What awareness does a human being need to realize that they are being abused or brutalized or that they can be subject to violence at home or outside. No amount of awareness is bigger than basic human instinct. The decision to fight that or quietly tolerate the same is dependent on one's decision to do the same. Just because a women comes to know about her legal rights does not necessarily mean that she will decide to fight against her husband who beats her everyday. Instead, the day she decides that enough is enough, she will act towards ending the same. A woman's resolution and instinct beats all awareness drives.

A woman tolerates maltreatment for her kids!

This logic is often provided for cases of domestic violence - 'The woman has no choice but to quietly subjugate herself to the atrocities of her husband and his relatives because she cares for her children'. Actually, there could be nothing worse for a child than a violent household and to witness everyday their mother being treated like an animal. In fact they will not only get traumatized by the same, the experience could also make them loose all respect for women. The most brutal amongst the ones who brutalized Nirbhaya, a juvenile, has confessed to a childhood where he has witnessed his father beating and torturing his mother when he was a child.  Only a adequate fightback by such a woman will restore her respectability in front of her children and make them learn the right things in life. They may have hardships but will never grow up like their pathetic predecessors.

Social Conditioning is the reason girls learn to tolerate atrocities!
I agree that social conditioning results in mindsets but this is also true that it conditions differently. Take for instance a household where one of the child is a boy and the other is girl. In this household the father (dominant male) rules the roost, the boy (preferential male) is pampered and given preference over the girl child. Is this scenario common in India? You bet! But the question is will this condition the boy child and girl child similarly? Definitely not... 

The boy will perhaps grow up to a spoilt man, a worthless husband and a chauvinist male. While the girl child will grow up understanding that if she has to find her place under the sun, she will have to endure the heat beneath her feet. The girl will for sure grow up to be a woman who knows that she will have to fight for her survival. Social conditioning, in short, can never make women used to torture and violence.

Women are not financially empowered

Activists argue that lack of financial empowerment is the reason why women are brutalized in this country. Agree that women are not as financially empowered as men are but could that be the reason for them subject to violence. It will demeaning to even suggest that women tolerate domestic violence because they cannot fend for themselves. No self-respecting person would! And to suggest that for women is disrespecting them. Interestingly the path to financial empowerment in some instances have been paved by women themselves after they have broken the shackles put on them by the society and family. 

Only Men are responsible for violence against women?

In most of the dowry related bride harassment and bride burning cases, mother-in-law has been found to be as guilty as the groom or other male members of the family. Even in average families the preferential treatment to the boy child and bias towards daughter is meted by none other than the mother, many a times. It is myth that women and girls are only harassed or tortured by men. In many cases women are also involved. Not so long back the chairperson of a women commission supported the argument that modern dressing of girls is responsible for sexual violence against them. Again, only women can change such sick attitudes,

Society will change?

The solution for women will not come from the society or from men. Most men, barring a handful few, will never wish to give their dominant position away. Only women themselves can change the society. The condition of women have dramatically improved in Europe and America because of women themselves and not because of the society or men. The change has been felt by women, initiated by women and then society has been forced to change and accept them as equals.Not that scenario in such countries is perfect but surely is way better than in India.

In the backdrop of the fact that the juvenile offender in the Nirbhaya's case, the most brutal of all, is set to be released on Dec. 15 as he completes his sentence, I rest my case by saying that only WOMEN can change the tide and make this a better world for themselves. Activists and Chauvinists - both are equally useless in this mission.