Not - So - 'Sweet Sixteen' ... Disengage.

Even the staunch atheist shall start believing in God on Indian roads. To wriggle out safely from the chaos and confusion that reigns on Indian roads one shall definitely need a divine intervention. As a matter of fact one can find an idol or godly inscription/memento on the dashboard of most vehicles. 

When the talk show queen & media mogul Oprah Winfrey visited India sometime back, after experiencing the traffic on Indian roads, she reportedly remarked-“what is it with the red light mean stop or not? Or is it just for your entertainment?” She supposedly compared traffic on Indian roads to a scary video games where one keeps wondering what’s going to hit suddenly.

Well! Comments of Winfrey must not come as a surprise to us for we all are part of it everyday. Oprah Winfrey saw calm beneath chaos on India. Driving in India for more than two decades, I see the ‘species of drivers’ causing all the mayhem amidst this chaos. 

If there was ever classification of chaos, this is it! Here is for the first time, drivers on Indian roads decoded:

1.       Lane Cutters- If you happen to find lanes on Indian roads, then you would definitely find lane- cutters.  They cut lanes anytime anywhere and everywhere.

2.       Slow Movers- Blissfully unaware of the amount of inconvenience that they cause to others, the ‘slow movers’ move at snail-pace in the middle of the road.

3.       Slow Blockers-Unlike ‘slow movers’ they not only move slowly but intentionally block other traffic. They somehow derive a sadist pleasure out of keeping others at bay, even when they move slowly.

4.       Jumping Jacks-The name comes from the famous yesteryear Bollywood hero known for his calisthenics on-screen. Some motorists seem to do similar jumping acts on road. All of a sudden a vehicle would jump in front of your’s, testing your braking skills.

5.       Screechers- The last thing that comes to the mind of such motorist is brakes .And when it does they apply the same with full gusto. The result is not only a screeching halt but a sudden panic for the followers.

6.       Unstoppable - Newton’s law of inertia stated that a body continues to be in a state of rest or motion unless acted upon by an external force. In case of unstoppable, no external force seems to act once there are in state of motion. So nothing stops them, not even the red traffic lights (Oprah remarks have been caused by one of these unstoppable).

7.       Sneakers-  This species of motorist must have lived in narrow burrows or by-lanes, and hence  sneaking has become an irresistible habit. They sneak-in between the traffic at the slightest opportunity.

8.       Dare Devils-  The second word describes them better than the first one. These are the Road- Rambos doing stunts at the cost of safety and lives of others & of their own.

9.       Big Bully- If you have seen the public transport buses & over-loaded lorries, then you would perfectly understand the big bully. They move, cut (lanes) and stop at will. You better not take them- on, if you love your family.

10.   Parking Dunces- If you do not know how to park, you don’t know how to drive-‘parking dunces’ are a nightmare for others. They park poorly, many a times at wrong places, as if it is their birth-right.

11.   Desperadoes- ‘Desperadoes’ are always missing a flight or an important appointment /meeting(not that they actually missing one)& hence are running on their  vehicles. ‘Hurry’ seems to be their second name and they ensure to make curry of the rest of the traffic.

12.   Road Runners -  Crossing a busy road in India is an life-death adventure and hit or miss the zebra-crossing is not respected, of course if  there is one and hence road runners are at large.

13.   Dribble King- They could put the Pele,  Maradonas,& Messis to shame by their dribbling skills, only if they did the same on the sports field. Instead they shamelessly try such skills with their vehicles(mostly bikes) on the road.

14.   Cautious Rookie-  Everyone who has licence knows to drive! Really! This rule doesn't apply everywhere (don’t be surprised!!!) and hence is born the cautions rookie who is probably the new driver on the block testing his/her skills right in the middle of the traffic, adding more to the chaos. Go back to the school, man!

15.   Romeos-  And, how can we forget the Romeos who have just had a ’Skyfall’ and are leaving no stone unturned to impress their dames…. The only problem is that they have chosen the road for the ‘salsa’. So bingo, be ready to dance with them & face the music!

16. Minor- Under-aged kids encouraged by their too adventurous parents taking to the wheels put themselves and everyone else on the road at risk. recently an accident in Bangalore involved a minor driver. Shameful, really!

Not that there aren't any good men and ladies behind the wheels but they are a crying minority, being constantly bullied by the one or more these not-so sweet sixteen Ds'.

So what if this chaos means inconvenience to millions, wastage of tonnes of precious productive time, immeasurable stress to commuters and what if it has earned India the dubious distinction of the country with maximum number of road accident deaths(in excess of 142,000) in the world? We still continue to add and adjust to this chaos.

Number of Road Accidents and Number of Persons Involved: 2002 to 2011
Year	Number of Accidents		Number of Persons		Accident Severity*
	Total	Fatal	killed	Injured
2002	4,07,497	73,650(18.1)	84,674	408,711	20.8
2003	4,06,726	73,589(18.1)	85,998	435,122	21.1
2004	4,29,910	79,357(18.5)	92,618	464,521	21.5
2005	4,39,255	83,491(19.0)	94,968	465,282	21.6
2006	4,60,920	93,917(20.4)	105,749	496,481	22.9
2007	4,79,216	1,01,161(21.1)	114,444	513,340	23.9
2008	4,84,704	1,06,591(22.0)	119,860	523,193	24.7
2009	4,86,384	1,10,993(22.8)	125,660	515,458	25.8
2010	4,99,628	1,19,558(23.9)	134,513	527,512	26.9
2011(P)	4,97,686	1,21,618(24.4)	1,42,485	5,11,394	28.6
(P): Provisional Figures within parentheses indicate share of fatal accidents to total accidents *Accident Severity: No. of persons killed per 100 accidents Source: Road Accidents in India 2011 report (morth.nic.in)

We often blame infrastructure, traffic cops for the mess, Things are far from perfect, but the first thing that must be done by the traffic cops is to disengage these drivers so as to keep roads safe for those who care, for those who obey traffic rules and do not encroach upon the liberty of others.

As much it is important to engage, I think it is also important for companies to decide whom not to engage? 

Hire for attitude and train for skill is the golden principle. Trying to engage with everyone means we fundamentally believe that anyone can be on-board. Jim Collins had very correctly said – ‘Get the right people on the bus and then decide where to drive that bus’. ‘Right’ is the operative word. And that cannot have a single dimension interpretation. Right has to be looked as much from the competency perspective, it must also be looked from the attitudinal and behavioural perspective. Bad hires have been bleeding companies.