How much is too much? Sexual violence against women goes
unabated. The recent Mumbai rape of a photo journalist, gang-rape of a ladyconstable at the hands of dacoits in Jharkhand are stark reminders that nothing
has changed since the Nirbhaya’s case in Delhi. And rape is not the only kind
of sexual violence that women face in our country. Another growing menace is
acid attacks. The BBC documentary below is nerve-racking as it shows the acid
attack victims and their unimaginable sufferings. Most of such attacks have happened against young women who refuse the
advances of unsolicited males.
Why had India seen a spurt in cases of sexual violence in
India? What’s behind this growing brutality? Is there anything wrong with the men
and boys in our country? There is everything wrong in
the way they are brought-up in our society. We seldom teach our sons to be
respectful of girls and women. And most of them see how mothers and sisters are
treated in the household. There is scant respect for them and they are subject
to humiliation, many a times physical violence and treated as second-class citizens
in the same household. These boys grow-up and do the same to their girlfriends
and wives.
In an average Indian household that has a son and a daughter;
differential treatments are meted to both of them. Although it is the men who institutionalize these differential treatments at home, surprisingly many a times
such treatments are meted out by the women themselves. A friend of mine
narrated to me of an incident that he witnessed while travelling in a train. A
family of four - husband, wife and their two kids (one son and one daughter),
almost of the same age, were his co-passengers. The mother was after the son to
make him eat his lunch while the boy did his tantrums. She begged her son to
eat, affectionately fed him and it took a long time for her to make her son
eat. All this while, the daughter quietly sat in a corner of a berth, finished
her meals on her own and then kept reading a book. After the lunch was over,
the lady made her son to lay on one of the berths, put him to sleep and then
wrapped a blanked on him to keep him warm. After the mother went off to sleep,
the daughter got up and wrapped a blanket around her mother and then quietly
retired in her berth. This is the reality of how daughters are treated in most Indian households, although outliers are there but in extreme minority.
Till we teach our sons how to treat women, to respect women, our society will keep producing scoundrels who will treat women as objects of
desire and as foot mats, and then lecture them that they should wear better
clothes or should beg respectful treatment from men if they want lesser
subjugation.
14 comments:
Its not only what words are said to boys in family, they are taught to respect women. It also depends on what they see in their daily lives, how their mother and sisters are treated that is what they learn. Sometimes it is justg an impulse crime no matter how good the family values are.
2) The phenomenon of rape is something that is criminal but contrary to the assertion of authors like Susan Brownmiller (Against our will- men women and rape) this is not restricted to the human species alone(probably due to inadequate knowledge of primate behavior at the time her book was written but I am guessing). The points will be illustrated by the links-http://pin.primate.wisc.edu/factsheets/entry/orangutan/behav
Biologist Professor Jared Diamond illustrates this point rather beautifully in his book The rise and fall of the third Chimpanzee. He states that many crimes- rape, genocide and violence against women, drug abuse do have animal precursors-but humans are conditioned not only by genetics but also memetics- memories getting transferred. And this memetics has enabled the species to invent far more sophisticated means of destroying other members of their species- greater killing efficiency. This is not I Repeat Not a Justification of rape on biological grounds- Not at all. Like most right thinking and civilized humans I am distressed and demand justice and better conditions for all of us to say the least. But then again the feminist extreme of painting all Human males as potential rapists is not only a euphemism(to put it mildly), it is a statement and an idea that owes more than a little to the ideology of the writers. Sex was the ultimate causation for Freud, poverty for Marx and there is an urgent need to guard from getting carried away by the tide of opinion of either side- and painting either sex as basically criminal- that will set a dangerous precedent- and innumerable problems to say the least.
3) The criticism of Indian men stems perhaps from a similar stance to the above. At the risk of repeating myself I must state that most Indian men will be horrified by this spate of crimes- since many are fathers brothers sons and husbands- and they will no doubt be horrified and a worried lot. To take a fraction that is criminal and to paint the entire community or in this case the Indian male as a being a potential wife beater or rapist is a bit too sweeping a generalization. Additionally statistics from many countries show this is a problem that some humans have- not just Indian males. http://www.forbes.com/sites/rahimkanani/2012/03/08/doj-director-on-violence-against-women-in-the-united-states/ will illustrate the above point rather well. It is not just the country to blame, but the individual. Such crimes are common even in Britain, (which coincidentally has had a history of women rulers- From Boudacea, queen of Iceni , through Elizabeth I, down to the current monarch- so one wonders if culture alone accounts for a few miscreants), there is an incidence of crimes against women
(http://www.channel4.com/news/violence-against-women-part-of-everyday-lives-in-uk). The famous move, 10 Rillington Place is based on real incidents of Necrophilia- and it shocked a nations conscience. labeling an entire section of the populace smacks of irresponsibility to say the least.
4) The book Bitter Almonds by Gregg Olsen chronicles a real life crime story about Stella Nickell- a woman who poisoned her husband to make money on his insurance policy- but to claim that all women resort to such crimes is not only sexist it is wrong- gloriously and utterly wrong. In the same way to colour all women with the statement that a woman is a woman’s worst enemy is virulently sexist- and untrue. And the presence of a case like Joanne Chambers vs Paula Nawrocki, (where the latter was accused of Stalking The Former, a charge that was later quashed) Should not be given sexist tinges- that would be quite unfair (http://connection.ebscohost.com/c/articles/9605214901/strangest-stalking-case-ever)
(http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=2002&dat=19950825&id=H6dUAAAAIBAJ&sjid=ezsNAAAAIBAJ&pg=4795,5723328)
1) The incident is beastly- and the trial must necessarily proceed quickly, arrive at a fair conclusion and then mete out the necessary treatment to the guilty- for justice delayed is justice denied. This will not heal the wounded young woman’s psyche- but will serve as a strong deterrent. At the same time it must be borne in mind that miscarriages of justice due to the unreliable nature of witnesses is not beyond the possibilities of human existence. These two links will serve to illustrate the fallibility of witness testimony- Steven G Titus (http://seattletimes.com/news/local/tituscase/lookingback.html, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wrongful_conviction_of_Steve_Titus) and also Adoplh Beck (http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/the-strange-case-of--adolf-beck-6159841.html). This two illustrate that eyewitness testimony may not always be reliable and the need to prosecute must balance the two contradictory tasks of punishing the guilty while simultaneously preventing a miscarriage of justice. It is a formidable ask lest one acts like Justice Horace Avory in the Beck case that I have cited.
Did I just step on the great Indian male ego? Seems I might have just done that...
Going by the UN stats when it comes to treatment of girls and women in this country (refer to my earlier post) there is nothing to be proud of and further in light of the recent incidents I do not think an explanation to my post is due.
However to set things straight, the post was in no way an attempt to paint Indian men in one colour. I am a man myself and I strongly think that a society that does not know how to treat its women and kids should be reflective of what is fundamentally flawed.
And I think, there is a fundamental flaw in the way most of us bring-up our sons. Conditioning is causative in a big way. That is no way to rule-out genetic wiring or situational variables.
No great theory, no parallels drawn to similar crimes in other societies or countries justifies the violence against women. Does not even serve as a consolation.
So its perhaps time to reflect and build a healthier and happier society.
Thanks so much for reading and commenting.
Few assertions are in
2) The reason the biological basis and the other factors are to be taken into account is because this will enable us to direct conditioning across cultures for all humans better. The objective of all science -natural and social is to try and create a better humanity, not to justify something. And an explanation is not an excuse. Social upbringing may explain some aspects, but it seems different societies have violent crimes and generally women are perceived as softer targets. After all if it was just India to blame a large number of other countries would have significantly smaller crime rates against women. And this is by no means the case. It is no consolation or excuse, just a fact. The links about crimes in my earlier comment may be seen in this regard. The biological explanation tends to account for our potential for self destruction and violence against others of our species.
At the same time no need to paint all Indian parents a single colour- they are as varied as the human species in every facet. Even upbringing of children is varied- there are obviously bad apples but that by no means takes away the factor that a sizeable part of this countrys children are treated ok- but the need to address the other half cannot be pushed under the carpet.
Hardcore criminals cannot be tackled by counseling alone, unless some secret elixir has been uncovered. And to tackle them, first they should be disarmed and this is quite easily doable given the correct political will and incentive to law enforcement. Then decent citizens, should arm themselves and have the right to defend themselves. This will mitigate the risk, to some extent but cultural conditioning and sermons by themselves seem a woefully weak response against a formidable menace. One wonders how the sermons and conditioning which allegedly failed to work on children in countries with a supposedly superior culture and treatment are to work in ‘vastly inferior ‘India- after all humans are fundamentally similar.
the facts stated are not theories but are established- crime has as much a biological basis as a social. And at no point has not addressing the social basis been my assertion. One cannot deny that this part of memetics is to be addresses. But the biological basis also needs careful consideration and it alone seems to be elegant enough to provide a basis for the possible cure- social will is a necessary, but one doubts if upbringing alone accounts for all criminals.
At no point has an assertion been made eulogizing the crimes against women or taking pleasure out of some other nations and their crimes against their women. The fact is a fair comparison is the essence of life. Metric systems, examinations and democracy are fallout of the need to compare. And by a comparison one will be able in good time to zero in on the causal factors. That is all. If this has been misinterpreted then that is a common enough occurrence, and not vicious. But there is always the other possibility that words are being put in my mouth- it’s a common enough complaint against journalists and polemicists. And that would set a troubling precedent.
5) The comparison is intended as part of a scientific method to address the problem- there may well be a plurality of causes, and this cannot be ruled out. At times disorders in the body have many underlying causes- The first step in curing a disease is to understand its underlying causes- and this is the only endeavour that all humans need to build a better future. There are vastly different reasons as to why people brought up under identical conditions vary- even identical twins demonstrate this(professor Tim Spector)- and thus it needs more investigation. A thorough comprehension of all factors is a must- social and biological to cure the malady.
Most of the sons in India are thought not to disrespect women but the matter changes when the boys (men) are in group of a gang as when a girl passes by, 1 or 2 in that group will pass a comment and that allows the other boys to do the same in the next moment... and the main part is the self control and self realization ... and before doing such things one should always think of their mother's or sister's of how do they feel if the same thing happened with them..
I totally agree with you. It starts from home. While growing up, when kid sees how others respect women, not only because she has done some great job but also because she is a girl, a woman and she needs to be treated and respected like one , then kid will learn that only.
very interesting article ,very well written.
i completely agree with you. it is said that education for a child starts from home, by teaching them how to respect and behave in the society. the same applies to the boys , where they should be taught how to respect women n girls in their life. with the kind of exposure they get in today s world they should be extra cautious when approaching a women. it show s how a boy treats his sister and mother, in the same way he will treat the women in the society.
would like to conclude by saying "stop , violence against women . the power of change is in our hands ".
Disrespect for women in India starts even before they are born, with female embryos frequently aborted. In states like Haryana when a girl child is born, she is thrown in a hot boiling container filled with milk. When they are going up,they are given differential treatment (most of the times by their mothers only) . Although ironically during Durga pooja / Navratri they are considered as the morph of Goddess Durga. Sometimes they are assaulted , sometimes they are raped, sometimes they burnt because they don't have money to pay dowry.
Once I was coming out of the mall in Indore, I saw a teenage girl sitting outside an atm . She was naked. I tried speaking to her, she did not utter a word. My mom gave her some clothes and food. Instantly she wore those clothes. The watchmen who was sitting there said she has been raped like a thousand times, she has lost the will to even speak.
For a girl its a like a punishment to be born in India. I think we need to not only teach our men but we should teach our society to respect women.
I strongly believe that, the way people behave represents how they been bought up and been treated in their life. I completely agree with you.Mother is the first teacher for a child,her impact on the child is enormous,the child sees the world depends on the way the mother show it.Respect for a women should be taught from that initial stage.
If a boy can't respect her sister with whom he been all the years,how can he respect respect staring women after grown up.we Indians teach to respect women,but i can't see the respect in most families.If the family it self won't respect her,imagine the way others treat her.We are in such a pathetic situation,this has to be changed.
I believe that in a real world, teaching the girl child the harsh reality is better than treating her equal. In my sisters case, after her marriage in july, she has been facing a great hardship not because she is being treated bad but because of the attitude of the family. My parents have taught us to be modern in outlook rather that out-side- look. In a real world, to a guy, it is his power desire that drives him. and traditionally we have a place for a women that is central to a family. My mothers sacrifices for our family is not a small thing. and I strongly doubt what a modern women would have done at the same place.
Post a Comment