Between Rumblings & Grumblings – The Journey of Life, What We Hear, What We Become

It was early morning, and the usually busy platform of the tube station bore a deserted look. Besides me, there were 1 or 2 more souls waiting on the platform for their train. I glanced for the nth time at the digital display board; my train was 4^th in the queue. The last train had just left the underground station, and I could hear its rumbling sound for much longer in the morning silence before it grew fainter and ultimately died out. This rumbling will again start as the next train approaches the station. Between these rumblings of the trains, there was a strange blanket of silence that wrapped the whole environment in its shroud. At some point, this whole place will be filled with people and will be drowned in a cacophony of sounds that in itself would make no sense, yet will be filled with hundreds of small and big conversations, each one of which would have a story and a past.  

Life feels so much like this tube platform. We are all waiting to board our trains, either starting a new journey or continuing an old one. And even though sometimes we might be on the same train as others, our compartments are different; and even if we happen to be in the same compartment, our seats and situations aren’t the same. Each one is a passenger, each with their own joys, sorrows, resentments and anger.  Some who haven’t been able to find themselves a seat, or know that their journey is going to end or change very soon, choose to stand. Some are carrying their heavy baggage, others choose to travel light. Each one is in a different level of comfort and strife, each fighting their own struggles in life. Some can afford the luxury of first class, while others make their way to the general compartment. Some have a companion, some are lonely, while others choose to be alone. Some are chasing dreams, while others are ruing on missed chances. Some are too busy to talk; others are busy talking. Some are taking a chance; others are waiting for one. Some are curious about the possibilities; others are anxious about the impossible. Some have ear to the ground; others are floating above it. Some pay attention, while others go through the motions. Some get down too soon, while others go right up to the terminus. Some journeys turn out to be memorable and others forgettable. In the end, all journeys will end, and nothing will remain except those dying rumblings and grumblings. What then will matter is not the journeys as much as we carry what they have made of us; did we find our music in the rumble or lost our minds in endless grumble,  did we touch a soul, did we bring a smile, did we create a hope, did we reflect for a while, did we stop to support a stick, did we lend hand to one who is weak, did we wait for someone and did someone wait for us.

It’s less of how it started, more of how it ends, and what we do between the start and the end. And this is why some journeys are remembered while others are forgotten too soon, some inspire, while others feel like a helium balloon.

My solitude was broken once again by the thunderous roar of the approaching train, the 4^th train, my train. I have to leave now and begin another journey…

AI will replace humans is finally proving to be a myth!!!

 So, the fear that AI will replace humans is finally proving to be a myth!!!

Two recent developments are disconfirming the fear that has been dreading most working professionals since AI has gathered speed and agility.

First incident refers to a company called Klarna, which is inviting its 700 employees back into the company’s fold after it had laid off after AI takeover last year. The company did a 360⁰ turnaround on its decision after reportedly facing a backlash from its customers who complained of basically AI lacked empathy.

The second incident refers to a company called Duolingo, whose CEO Luis von Ahn has gone back on his AI First memo issued sometime back and in his recent post not only accepted that he did not do well with the memo issued earlier, but also made it clear that AI will not be replacing employees in his company, and that his company is going big on hiring.

Both these instances are not mere incidents, but key events that indicate that AI and humans are going to co-exist in the future. The key will be whether you are AI literate or not, because if you are not, you are likely to get replaced, no matter what you do as a professional. Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang said that ‘AI will not replace you, but someone who knows AI will’. I cannot agree more.

Few countries, like China and US, are already making AI literacy compulsory in their schools. Other nations need to follow suit.

So, it’s time to stop fearing AI and panicking that AI will replace you. Instead, look at AI as a big enabler and learn AI, no matter what you do or study. Remember, AI (Artificial Intelligence) and HI (Human Intelligence) together can create a better world.

 

 

‘I will lose my job, if I let you use the toilet’

That’s what the hostess of this upscale restaurant near the Piccadilly car park told me when I requested her if I could use the toilet to pee as it was a sort of emergency.

We had just dropped a close friend visiting London at the Buckingham Palace and I was trying to park my car. My wife was accompanying me. Finally, I found this car park, immensely costly, but at least somewhere to station my car for a short while. It had been a long day and having this habit of drinking lots of water meant that my bladder was full, and I urgently needed to pee.

This upscale area does not have a close by public toilet and I did not have time or patience to search for one. I entered this close-by Pret-a-Manger whose cashier told me that they did not have toilets. I walked to the opposite side of the eatery and found this upscale restaurant. I cannot remember its name. Anyways, I walked in, told him my ‘emergency’ and requested the man on the counter if I could please use the toilet. He hesitated, half-willing to help me but then directing me to this lady who looked like a hostess-cum-manager of the restaurant. This man was clearly not the decision-maker.

I repeated my request to this lady and she replied rather curtly - ‘I am sorry Sir; toilet is only for customers. I will lose my job if I let you use the toilet’.

And as she said this, she also showed us out of the door and said – ‘Let me show you where you can find one…’ And she pointed to the Pret-a-manger outlet, where I had been just told that they didn’t have a toilet.

Clearly, no one wanted to help.

My wife who was with me said why don’t we buy something from this restaurant (we could afford at least the salad, I guess) and then we become her customers. Then she will let you use the toilet.

Technically, I could have done that, but frankly speaking I did not want to, even though my bladder had reached its maximum stretch. Something within me said that I don’t want to do this. You can call this self-esteem, but I felt that now I never want to be their customers ever in my life. The disengagement was permanent.

Contrast this with my experience when I visited for this international food festival at Portsmouth (about two and a half hours drive from London) in July. This time we were with friends, some of whom had young kids. The kids needed to use the toilet and once again we were not able to find a close-by public toilet. I walked into this beach side amusement centre for kids and requested the people at the counter. I even offered to pay for use. But they were so kind that they let all of use the toilet. We did not buy any service from them that day but believe me if I must recommend someone a place like this, I will definitely recommend them. Their random act of kindness assured me that they would serve well.

In defence of that lady and that man at the Pret-the-manger counter, what if they started allowing anyone to use the toilet. Would that not offend their customers? That’s a hypothetical situation though. In all likelihood this would never happen. It’s always a judgement call when you are presented with a genuine request (you can always know if it is one). And there is something about character and ‘smell of the place’ that comes across depending on how people react or respond to these situations.

What actually struck me was the second statement of the lady. Something must be broken in a place where one would fire their employees for helping someone in dire need, if what the lady was saying was true. I remember once a Chief Human Resource Officer of a watch and accessories company recounted an incident wherein their store manager went beyond the call of the duty to help a walk-in customer to one of their stores and had a cardiac arrest. The store manager himself took the person to the hospital, phoned his family and waited until the family members reached the hospital. By this time the treatment had already started and the person could be saved. Had any time been lost, the man would not have survived. And, mind you, the man had not purchased anything from the store. Nothing of this sort was in the job description of the manager, but he did what he thought he should do and knew his organization would back him up for the same. He left the store at a busy time and could have been easily penalized. Instead, the company rewarded him for his magnanimous act. And guess what, he very unintentionally created an army of loyal customers as the news spread in the city. So, even if we talk business, then remember customers may not always walk-in as customers first time.

I still wish well for the lady and for all those who turned me away that day. I hope they meet kinder people when they are in need. 

(Photo credits: Photo by Ericson Fernandes)

Can Companies Arm-Twist Employees to Work-from-Office?

 Around 14 years back, at a time when millennials had started entering the workforce in large number, an IT major in India, let’s call it ‘I’ well-known for its progressive HR policies, made a huge blunder that led to not only poor publicity of the company, but also damaged employee engagement and tarnished its reputation and employer brand. In the subsequent best employer surveys, the company dropped sharply from being the number one company to 5^th or 6^th rank. One of the prime reasons that came out of these surveys as the cause of this drop was poor internal communication and decisions of leaders that did not reflect contextual realities.

Cut to 2024, is it once again on the path to commit similar blunder again? Have they and their contemporaries not learnt lessons from their past mistakes? Let’s see.

It all started for this company around 2010 when they started receiving lots of complaints about poor resolution client problems. The company in turn hired an independent consultant to investigate into the matter. The investigation revealed that many employees in client-facing role had been promoted out of retention pressures, rather than merit and hence may not be well-prepared to meet the demands of the role. Owing to this, their ability to understand client needs and resolve their problems was not as efficient as it should be. To resolve this issue the consultant developed a role-based assessment that would reassess the competency of every member of the company in client-facing roles. The implementation of this new role assessment led to around 5000 demotions in the company.

The employees were angered by this approach of the company and their anger burst on social media where they started venting their frustration. The company fearing a serious backlash gave a knee-jerk response to such protests and attempted to clamp-down the same by introducing a strict social media policy. The obvious attempt to gag the employee voice led to such expressions going ballistic on social media. Many employees created anonymous accounts and started posting abusive content about the company on social media. In short, it became bad to worse!

This also drew serious public criticism about the company. Clearly the internal communication had not remained as efficient as it used to when the company was smaller. The internal communication strategy had not been able to keep-up the pace of its growth. Result, many leadership decisions had not been communicated well down the ranks, resulting in misconstrued perceptions and strong emptions against the company among the employees. The leadership decisions, their response when faced with criticism and then backstepping revealed that they had a poor understanding of the new generation, their life and their media. Finally, after much damage had been done, sense seemed to prevail in the company when they decided to introduce a Facebook equivalent within the company (like an internal Facebook) for the employees to freely express their opinions. They also introduced a company radio service for the employees to communicate important decisions and the rationale behind those decisions.

Déjà vu Moment?

14 years later, at a time when now Gen Z entering the workforce in hordes and are set to dominate workforce, along with younger millennials, in years to come, the company’s leadership seems to be in similar conundrum. Recently, it has started introducing policies to force employees to work-from-office for most days of the week. Employees who choose to work remotely would face repercussions if they do not work from office. This is seen mostly as an arm-twisting technique by the Gen Z employees and younger millennials who would like to have greater autonomy in choosing their work approach – remote, in-person or hybrid, depending on their choice, rather then being forced to come to office for work. As long as the work gets done and the productivity is maintained they see no reason why companies must arm-twist them into physically attending work. The Covid era has clearly thrashed-out the myths propagated about remote working. Besides, high rental cost, higher commute cost and time considering the clogged roads of most metros, have encouraged younger generation employees to work remotely more often than not.

                                    Image Credit: Microsoft Designer via LinkedIn

Other contemporary company have followed suit. Another IT company let’s call it ‘W’ has reportedly sent emails to their employees giving them an ultimatum that if they fail to report physically in the office for a minimum of 3 days in a week, they will lose their paid leaves. Another company let’s call it ‘T’ has linked variable pay to presence of employees in office. If their attendance in office falls below a particular percentage, they would lose all of their variable pay and as their attendance in office would improve, so would their chances of getting a higher variable pay. And all these years we thought variable pay was linked to performance, but now it seems it is linked to attendance!!!

The logic behind such arm-twisting seems hazy and not linked to their performance. It’s either poor HR or poor leadership thinking who continue to poorly understand the Gen Zs and younger millennial generations and impose irrational arbitrary policies on them. Such decisions are once again reflective that the leaders of these companies have poor understanding of new generation’s life realties and expectation from work. Gen Z employees who value work but value life equally, flexibility at work goes a long way in engaging them. Rather than losing 3 hours in commute every day, Gen Z would rather prefer to use that time to finish their work early and get on with their life. Work-from-office cannot be simply imposed if there is no evidence that it leads to better performance or productivity.

The signs of growing opposition from the employees are already evident. For instance, ‘Coffee Badging’ is becoming commonplace thing where employees are coming to work to show their faces and then leaving after they have a coffee. This rise in tokenism to thwart the forced office attendance will only erode productivity, lead to higher loss of work time, poor engagement and in the medium run might lead to rise in attrition and losses.

Are these companies committing the same mistake that ‘I’ committed 14 years back? Have they and their contemporaries learnt from those mistakes? Is it time for leadership to reflect on their decisions and accept the new direction in which the future of work is heading?

Learning from mistakes is wise, progressive and need of the hour. Lest they risk losing reputation and relevance. 

Language of Love

My son was playing Japanese City Pop on the car stereo. This is his latest love, and frankly we don’t dislike it either. At times we listen to Korean songs and even at times Malayalam, Tamil, Kannada or a Marathi song. Other than Hindi, English and Bengali, we do not understand a word of other songs, yet love them. 'Language of love' trumps all!!!

 Cut to today’s news on a news site - a woman was reportedly harassed for not speaking the local language. This is not an isolated incident. Throughout the world,  since time immemorial, we have fought over many things, language being one of them. Such a vainglorious thing!

Image Credits: Arnab Sengupta (Created on Canva)

Learning a new language is amazing. There are no two words about it. As Nelson Mandela had once said, language is not only a means of communication but a reflection into a culture and history. Having said this, learning a language should be a matter of choice and not a compulsion. Language imposed on people erodes their likelihood of liking that language ever in the future. In certain places, because of this imposition, kids in schools are forced to learn three languages at a time. That’s not only unfair, but also unnecessary. Instead, if we want people to learn a language, then we need to create an environment where people start loving a language and want to learn it, so that they can explore a new culture, history and contemporary art and literature. In short, it needs to be a ‘PULL’ not a 'PUSH' strategy.

The greatest language of all is the 'language of love'. Even if you do not understand a word of what other person is saying, if you apply the language of love, you can always understand what the other person means or needs. How come we claim to understand what our pets ‘say’ although they do not speak a single word, yet cancel another fellow human who cannot speak the language that we speak?

DEB (Digital Everyday Behaviours) with DEB | Ep1: Phubbing

 Has it ever happened to that you are talking to someone, and that person starts checking their phone? Check out this video -

#DigitalBehaviours #DigitalEverydayBehaviours #DEBwithDEB #Phubbing #BeingPhubbed

Energy and Experience needs to be married to Engagement

 A professional contact recently sent me an article that claims that there is a ‘growing undercurrent of scepticism surrounds the managerial capabilities of Gen Z…’ I feel that in many ways this article sends wrong signals and shows a rather shallow understanding of the author about younger generations and their engagement into the workforce.

Gen Z are relatively new to managerial roles hence there is no doubt will require capacity building and mentoring, and so did earlier generations as well. So, although it is an uncontested point, but there is nothing new or uniquely missing about Gen Z. Hence, I find a bit strange is how quickly people start labelling a particular generation. That is a bit of a hurried conclusion and tad bit unfair towards Gen Zs. All we need to do is provide Gen Z with adequate training opportunities, good mentoring and coaching that helps us to groom them as better leaders.

I agree with the fact that every generational cohort has its own strengths. This is why multi-generational workforce can be a strength, provided there is greater generational empathy and right understanding. Experience and Energy need to be married to Engagement.

The article also once again reveals glaring areas of poor understanding of younger generations like Gen Zs. This is evident in statements like –

‘Gen Z’s approach to workplace culture and hierarchy can also be a point of contention…’

or

‘Gen Z’s approach to work-life balance also raises eyebrows…’

or

‘One of the primary concerns employers have is Gen Z’s rapid rise in aspirations…’

Or

‘Respect for hierarchy and seniority varies significantly across generations. Gen Z’s informal communication style, influenced by social media and digital platforms, sometimes clashes with the expectations of older generations who value formality and respect…’

Or

‘Employers fear that Gen Z managers may prioritise personal goals over organisational needs…’

And there are many more. These all are signs of poor understanding of Gen Z and reasons why engagement levels are poor. 

I have studied Gen Zs right from their adolescent and teenage days and hence have had the opportunity to gain a deeper insight into their life realities and the shift in the environmental dynamics around them.

 In the last 10 years I have had the opportunity to work with progressive and visionary organizations in India, Dubai, UK and US and help their managers and leaders develop a deeper understanding of millennial and Gen Z employees and customers, to drive stronger engagement. Similarly other organizations who recognize these issues and invest to train their managers on how to engage the younger generational workers and customers, stand a much better chance in the marketplace.

This articles states that some employers are avoiding hiring Gen Zs. I have recently read more such articles. However, one cannot ignore or avoid Gen Zs and that is the reality. Very soon they will form a major proportion of the global workforce and firms can choose to ignore them at their own peril. The better and wiser route is the route of engagement and that is only possible when we have a right understanding of the generational cohort and can find ways to engage them first and then groom them to bring about a planned change. Any other route is an ‘Ostrich Choice’.

 

 

CAST(E) AWAY

The invitation was for Satyanarayan puja, the worship of Lord Vishnu [1]. Frankly, I do not prefer to go much to any such ritualistic ceremonies. But this being a close friend’s invitation, I could not ignore it. We reached the designated time but were kept waiting for the arrival of the purohit [2], who was supposed to conduct the religious rituals. Even ‘God’ was waiting!

Finally, he arrived, a good hour late. Wearing traditional yellowish-orange dhoti [3] and janeu [4]. It was all decked out for the ‘show’. The purohit gave some finishing touches and then started his commentary on mantras [5]. Along with other friends and their families who were also invited, we were mute witnesses to the puja. When the puja was almost over, my friend’s wife seemed to be unusually worried about something that she had supposedly missed. I tried to be of help. This would also give me a break from the rhythmic chants in Sanskrit that I hardly understood. I soon found out that she needed four coins of one rupee each. I volunteered and went around the neighborhood to arrange those coins in time.

After the puja was over, I observed the purohit whispering something in the ear of my friend. He nodded obediently, and soon after I saw him distributing a coconut, a beetle leaf, an areca nut, and a one-rupee coin to four other friends present there. Somehow, he chose to ignore me, not making me the recipient of this set of goodies that looked like a return gift. Not that it mattered much, but I was curious about my omission. I kept quiet until all the rituals were over. A cab was arranged for the purohit, and he left with a bag full of fruits, sweets, other goodies and dakshina [6].

After most people had left, I confronted my friend and asked him why he had chosen to make me devoid of his goodies. It was then that I realized that the ‘goody bag’ was meant only for brahmins [7], and the purohit had instructed my friend via whisper to give the same to any four brahmin men. I was terribly disappointed and made no bones about expressing the same to my friend, who was both apologetic and empathetic to my complaints. I was his closest friend, yet somehow today my caste seemed to make me a tad inferior to others, and I was suddenly this second-class invitee in that group of people. It really hurt. As I have aged, my belief in traditional rituals and practices has increasingly diminished owing to such belief systems.

How can the caste determined by the birth of a person be a determinant of his purity or piety? Why should upper-caste people be put on a pedestal? Why should caste and not the karma (deeds) of a person determine his worth? How can we discriminate against people based on their birth, created by the same God? And how can we please the almighty when we do not care two hoots about hurting a fellow human being? If we are all children of God, then would a parent be happy if they found one child discriminating against or hurting another child?

And finally, why did my friend choose not to defy the purohit when he issued such diktats? But to be fair to him, I cannot blame him too much for his behavior. Afterall, most people find it comforting to conform, rather than confront.

 Footnotes

[1] The second God in the Hindu triumvirate, according to beliefs, is responsible for the upkeep of the world.

[2] the sacred brahmin blessed by a guru.

[3] A loose piece of clothing wrapped around the lower half of the body.

[4] a sacred thread (yagyopavita or janeu) that is received by a brahmin boy during the Upanayana ceremony marking acceptance of a student by a guru teacher and an individual's entrance to a school in Hinduism and that he continues wearing across his chest thereafter.

[5] A mantra is a sacred utterance, a numinous sound, a syllable, word or phonemes, or group of words in Sanskrit believed by practitioners to have psychological and/or spiritual powers.

[6] Cash or money paid to Purohit for his religious services.

[7] Brahmins are the upper caste cohort. Hindus have four main castes: Brahmins, Vaishyas, Kshatriyas, and Shudras, in decreasing order of their status in society. 

Photo credit: Andrii Yalanskyi

How I Survived a Midair 'Gas' Attack? (3-minute read)

Pandemic is over. What’s the use of face masks now? I often wonder. I still carry them in my bag just as a precaution when I fly or use any form of public transportation. But will I ever need them?  Well! I hope never. But then does it hurt if few harmless masks, that weigh few feathers, are lying in a corner of my handbag! Not really. 

I almost forgot about them until I took this flight recently. As I settled down on my seat, a pungent odour wafted through the air into my olfactory senses. Clearly, someone was suffering from poor digestion. I covered my nose until the smell was gone. Again, after about 10 minutes the same pungent odour! I cover my nose again. I hoped this was the last time. But it kept repeating frequently as if someone was doing 'it' using with a snooze button. The ‘alarm’ would go off again and again!

I had to last a long flight and unable to take this ordeal anymore, I beckoned the air hostess and hesitantly explained her the situation, requesting for a change of seat. She empathized with my situation and started to check on her device for an empty seat. By that time her male colleague came by and asked what the problem was. The air hostess very audibly explained my predicament. They both tried but were unable to change my seat as the flight was full. They were very sympathetic and empathetic of my helpless situation but were unable to help me. I don’t blame them.

They, however, had done one good thing though, they had alerted the ‘offender’ by disclosing my problem audibly, enough for passengers in the vicinity to hear. I thought that would deter the gas emanator, but anonymity was ‘criminal’s’ biggest weapon. 'It' continued silently, unabated. I found my situation both comic and tragic. 

Who could be doing such a despicable act! I looked around. Everyone appeared suspicious. After some time, I noticed the passengers sitting next to me weren’t covering their noses. It must be one of them, I thought. Or maybe they had nose blockages, and the one might be in front of me or across the aisle…It was of no use trying to play Sherlock Holmes. This was no baker street, and I didn’t have detective powers either.

By this time, I felt almost like puking. Nose coverings weren’t working much. Suddenly I remembered the ignored, forgotten mask lying in my bag. I immediately pulled out one and put it on my face. Believe it or not, that mask saved me from becoming a victim to an unusual gas attack. 

So, next time you second guess the use of mask during ‘peace time’, remember it can still save the day for you, literally!

(Photo Credits: Hoang Chuong via Hoàng Chương - Photography (pexels.com))

Vanishing Footsteps

A feeling that I will never ever receive another message or text from that person, I will never be able to see that person again or speak to the person is excruciating – the sense of loss, losing someone dear wrenches your heart like a wet cloth is dry rung.  

For me, I don’t feel anything when ‘it’ happens, it is a state of numbness. Is it that I don’t feel anything, or I don’t want to feel the loss, I do not know, but I just go on with life as usual. Then days pass, and things start to settle in and suddenly one day the treacherous heart skips a beat and that feeling, the one I hate most, dawns on me. A sort of dreadful realization…that’s when you feel the loss…the air feels short of oxygen and chest starts to feel like a hollow tunnel. A strange form of sadness envelopes me like misty smoke surrounds the burning wood. A concoction of memories, those moments, those missed chances of conversation or meetings that happened and the ones that never could, all swarm around the heart incessantly. The eyes are dry, but there is a corner of heart that is wet, unseen, hidden, somewhere deep within. One question keeps reverberating within - why did the footsteps vanish? I know, it has no answer, 

Over the years I have also come to realize that the world will never ever understand your grief, and who is trying to explain in the first place. Grief is like another dear page of one's diary. Even if no one reads it, the page never loses its meaning.

I close my eyes and speak to the one whom I lost…'stay well wherever you are, you suffered a lot, may you now be free from all suffering and may light guide your path ahead'.

I have to go...life is calling again…life is such...after all the show must go on…!!

Love is no business; Business is no love!

 

“Our child is not our return on investment.

Not an asset for our future entitlement.

We are just caretakers of this adorable ‘dove’.

Afterall, love is no business, and business is not love.”

As parents, we believe, we are caretakers of our children designated by the almighty. God has entrusted us with this beautiful ‘gift’ as a reward for the love that I and my wife share with each other. So, when we are showering love on our child, taking care of him, or bringing him up, we are not doing that with any sense of expectation. Instead, this is purely an act of love. We feel warm inside when we see our child happy, hearty, and healthy; our heart fills with contentment when we see him live life to the fullest; we feel joy when we see him smile. In simple words, loving him is our need, something that defines and completes our life.

For us seeing our child happy is our happiness. It is not important for him to do those things or live that life that makes us happy. Instead, we will be happy to see him lead a life that he relishes, make choices that brings him joy and fulfilment.

We know that at some point we will have an empty nest and this adorable ‘bird’ that we have now will fly to new horizons. Our wish and expectation at that time will be that he stays happy, healthy and enjoys what he does and makes most of his time. His happiness is and will always remain our happiness. Our message to him at that point of time will be -

‘Son, go live your life the way you want, explore new vistas, be happy, healthy, and joyous always. Do what you love and love what you do. We promise we will look after ourselves and be happy when we see you happy and thriving.’

 

Check-in Attitude, Fly out of Turbulence (2 minute read)

 I usually reach airport early, whenever I have to catch a flight. During one such recent flights, I had reached the airport well in advance and soon found myself in a short queue for checking-in. There were just 3 passengers before me, and it was quite relaxed. 

Two check-in counters were active, each with attended by a female ground staff. Within the short wait time, I observed a distinct difference in the behavior of the two ladies. While one was looked visibly irritated, and it reflected in her talking and behavior. An aged customer, whom she was attending now was taking time to follow certain rules that she was trying to explain. Her impatience with this passenger was evident in her rude tone that could easily be overheard. 

In contrast, the other lady seemed pleasant in her disposition. She smiled and greeted each passenger who went up to the counter, and even seemed to have a small conversation, before handing them their boarding cards and wishing them a safe flight. All this while keeping a smile on her face. She was patient in answering the queries of the passengers. Although it would hardly make a difference to the check-in process, I secretly wished that when my turn comes, I be led to the this counter.

The randomness of the chance did not disappoint me, and when my turn came, counter-2 was vacant. It was a pleasant and smooth check-in, however what impressed me more was the ease with which she was striking a conversation. She even managed to ask me what I do for a living. She further asked the subjects I teach and nodded happily to my replies. Handing over my boarding pass, she wished me, guess what? No, not the usual - have a safe flight, instead with a beaming smile she remarked ‘Happy Teaching’. We both smiled and thanking her I proceeded for the security. 

I would have gone through such check-in routines so many times, but this one felt different. Functionally there was no difference, I still got the same boarding pass I would have received, but affectively it did make a big difference. The lady just upped my experience and in turn created an opportunity for her airline. Remember in terms of getting the job done, both the ladies at the check-in counters were following the same set of instructions, true to the book. They were perhaps having similar levels of knowledge and equally skilled. The difference was however in the attitude with which they approached their jobs, that left passengers with contrasting experiences.

So many times, we might have heard that ‘hire for attitude, train for skill’. This is a testimony why and how attitude makes such a big difference.

 I have in the higher education teaching for more than two decades now. Whether I am a good or a bad teacher is determined less by the knowledge I possess or by my teaching skills, instead more by my attitude towards my profession and towards my students. My ability to empathize with the learning needs and expectations of my students. My attitude towards my job will determine if I can make the learning relevant, fun and inclusive; ultimately reflecting in the experiences of my students.

Take a minute to reflect on the job you do, and how your attitude makes a difference! And if you are in a hiring role, remember that without a doubt attitude is the real game changer.

The 3-H Rule (2-minutes to read, a lifetime to reflect)

 In every adversity, there is a hidden opportunity. Covid-19 pandemic, a name that no one wants to hear anymore, and we have left it behind for good, this bad thing also had an opportunity to offer. It offered a hidden opportunity to learn certain important lessons of life. Well, I don’t know what others learned from this, but I learnt that about the three most significant things in my life. I call them the – ‘The 3-H Rule’.

Home: The first H stands for home. We found out during Covid that the safest and the most reassuring place in the world was Home, and family your biggest security. No five star or seven-star luxury could offer a similar level of comfort, reassurance, and security that one’s home and family could offer, no matter how humble the dwelling might be. So never forget your home and family for anything in this world. Remember in your worst times, they will stand by you, no matter if anyone else does or not.

Health: We have heard perhaps a million times that health is wealth, but the true meaning of it we realized during the pandemic. Tragically, so many people who had accumulated wealth over the years could not even use a penny before the pandemic overshadowed their existence. Hence, remember to put your health first. You can enjoy the money that you earn only when you have health to support the same. Never, not for anything in this world, put your health as second.

Happiness: It is never too late to pursue what you really love doing and follow your passion. So, if you think you are stuck in a boring job that you never wanted to do, and instead, you wish to pursue something else, take that leap. Success for me is happiness. If your achievements do not make you happy, your relationships are depressing you, they can never be called success. Pursue your happiness while not treading on the happiness of others. So that when finally, it’s time to hang one’s boots, there mustn’t be any regret – if only I would have done that, if only I would have made that choice, if only I would have listened to my heart…. Life is today and now! Go live it!

Follow the ‘3-H principle’ and you will have the time of your life in this big wide world. Happy living!

Grow up (1 minute read)

Who would say this! To a child, to a young adult, a middle-aged person or to a senior. Generally, we associate growing-up with children, but the matter of fact is that our growth ideally should never stop. Every day we must grow as a person and become a better version of yesterday.

Distinctly, I see many promising kids who do not grow-up into equally promising adults, or very charming young adults who do not grow-up to be mature and wise people, or very successful adults who do not grow up to be gracious seniors with greys. In other words, somewhere they lose their way. Their promise, their charm, their wisdom fades away, and they become just a poor shadow of their past. Why does this happen? This happens because we stop growing as individuals. We stop growing because we stop learning. And we stop learning because we stop self-introspecting. We stop making good use of our senses and hence stop picking up the right stimuli.

Ignorance or arrogance or both, they make us blind. Afterall just having eyes is not enough, vision is more important. So, remember friends, it is never too late to grow up. 

Delivery boy is 'richer' than the Merc owner

 In this world, people can be very kind, but they can be very cruel too; they can very nice, yet some can be very mean too. Yesterday two similar incidents, reminded me once again of this duality of life. While trying to cross the driveway in the parking lot of a mall, an expensive looking car had to wait for couple of seconds to enable myself and my family to cross over to the other side of the driveway. The owner of the car behind the wheels, very rudely flashed the headlight of the car on our face expressing his annoyance of having to wait those seconds. Yet, in another mall, in a similar situation, another car owner voluntarily stopped for us to cross to the other side of the driveway.

But the incident that really motivated me to start writing my blog again after 2 years (this was not an intentional pause though), was a one narrated by my colleague and dear friend. She apparently ordered some food online on the delivery app. When the delivery boy landed up on her door, she realized that she had about 300 fils (or about INR 65/USD 0.80) less than the bill amount. Although, she had bank card, but she had chosen the cash mode of payment while checking-out and hence the delivery boy did not have any card machine with him. In short, she had no way to make-up for the 300 fils shortage. When the delivery boy came to know of her predicament, he offered to pay the balance from his pocket. Although my friend was moved by the kindness of the delivery boy, she politely turned down the offer. It might be a small amount for her, but still it would cut the pocket more of the delivery boy when he pays for the deficit. But he told her that he made decent tips every day, and he could afford to pay the balance amount. Finally, my friend returned his kindness by giving him a 10 Euro bill that he could exchange for dinars. Ten euros would mean about 4 dinars (or INR 907/USD 11). This was way more than the 300 fils that she fell short of paying. But guess that was the reward the delivery boy received for his kindness and his willingness to go beyond the job description to help a genuine customer.

What does this incident mean to me? I think it just strengthens my belief that this world runs because of people like that delivery boy or the polite waiting driver. People are not rich by the wealth that they possess; people are truly rich when they have a heart of gold. Wealth is outwardly measure of a person’s worth, which is transient and won’t last forever. The richness of heart though is the real measure of a person’s worth and lasts forever.

 

Every Feather in the Cap Counts - Grateful

WILL MY SON FIND HIS HOME?

An innocent question from my son stumped me this morning. His question was simple, yet I had no definite answer to the same. He asked me where do we belong? Which place can we call our home, or our domicile?

I can call the place I live, my home, if it feels like one; however, could find myself  as an ‘outsider’ even in my ‘home’. After all inclusivity and a wee bit of love and respect is all that is needed to make you call a place your home.

I wonder if someday I meet ‘aliens’ living in another far away planet, will they identify me as a Bengali, or as an Indian or as an Asian or as a resident of earth. I am sure it will be the last one. So, if earth is my home, then why am I an outsider in different parts of earth?

I still do not have answer to the question my son asked and wonder if I ever would have one. So, I just tell him consider earth as your home and see people as human beings alone. Remove these man-made labels of nationality, region, language, religion, caste, gender and colour from your mind and accept a human being for the virtues that he/she exhibits. Do not judge a book by its cover, instead by its letters.

And I believe that if at least some of us start thinking like this, then one day my son will definitely find his home. Till then we are just travelers.

Why Kushal Punjabi’s Suicide is a Grim Reminder of the Ignorance of Mental Health...

One suicide every 40 second! That is the alarming rate at which people kill themselves around the world. Suicide is one of the leading causes of death, globally. Every suicide is a tragedy and leaves behind family and friends of deceased devastated and scarred for life. It destroys homes and lives of people who are left behind to mourn.

Kushal Punjabi, a television actor from India killed himself yesterday leaving behind his parents, wife and a four-year-old son. This news has sent shock waves and one shudders to think how his family would cope with this tragedy. When I think of his four-year-old son and how he will cope with this loss, I get shivers down my spine. News reports contrast the cause of suicide from a failed marriage to a failing career. But whatever the cause, every suicide is tragedy that is even more lamentable because it is preventable.

Kushal Punjabi’s suicide is not the first and we know it is not going to be the last, but every such incident is a grim reminder how mental health afflicts people and is the modern-day global epidemic. One in four people around the world get impacted by mental health problem at some point of their life. Around 450 million people suffer from mental health issues that cause a range of problems from stress-related disorders, anxiety, depression and worst of them all suicides.

Most people focus on keeping themselves physically fit. In fact, Kushal was known to be fit as a fiddle according to his co-stars. We have annual health checks, health camps – all focusing on preventable healthcare aiming to keep people physically fit. However, no such initiatives seem to focus on mental health. What most people fail to realize and accept that although physical health is important, a poor mental health will not help a fit body to survive. On the other hand, a strong mental health may help people to overcome physical health problems and cope-up better.

Mental health issues are both preventable and treatable, but we continue to underestimate its importance, or stigmatize the same making it difficult for people to express or seek help. With fewer than two psychiatrists for every100,000 people, in India, the second most populated country in the world, the problem become even more acute as even those seeking help are not always able to access the same.

Despite the progress that mankind has made, mental health crisis and suicide are still wrapped in many myths. However, the fact is that these issues affect/can affect anyone irrespective of age, gender, income or social status.

Every suicide could have been prevented if there was someone who could listen to them, talk to them; if someone was for them when they faced despair and hopelessness.

Yes, the person who take this extreme step cannot shrug away the responsibility but first we need to recognize the fact that they are unwell and need attention, treatment and care. In absence of the same, the road ahead is filled with dangerous landmines, a path of no-return.

Whenever we hear of a suicide, we think about it till the news headlines last and finally shrug it off thinking it has not affected us or our family or friends. But such risks may be lurking around the corner as mental health problems come in stealthily. It is a silent-killer.

So, for once, let’s stop ignoring or continue living with in this blissful ignorance that it can never affect us or our near and dear ones.  It is important to educate ourselves on mental health, signs of deteriorating mental health, understand anxiety, depression and suicidal symptoms and develop an empathy for people who are affected, instead of making fun of them, stigmatizing them or ignoring/avoiding them. Mental health problem is no longer the headache of mental health professionals alone, it is everyone’s problem and we all need to join hands and make a difference.

Each One, Save One.

Every life saved is saving many other lives from dying a living death.

Are You Phubbing Me?

Have you used your phone in the presence of others, ignoring them? If yes, then you have Phubbed them!

Phubbing is the modern day word simply meaning snubbing someone else by ignoring them while using phone in their presence.

Phubbing is very very common these days and each one of you reading this article have either phubbed someone else or have been phubbed, or both. Phubbing is an annoying behaviour - a result of smartphone addiction.

Everyone phubs these days and at every odd place possible. You see kids phubbing each other at home at parties in presence of other adults. At times parents keep talking to the child and the kid simply does not respond because he/she is glued to the smartphone playing games, chatting or simply watching a video.  They are actually phubbing you!

You find guests visiting your place phubbing you and at times guests find their hosts phubbing them. Annoying, isn't it.

Then you have couples phubbing each other. Friends, married couples, dating couples sit next to each other and keep phubbing.

People even phub at work. Boss phubbing his reportee or people phubbing during a meeting is not very uncommon.

People phub at home, cafes, social meetings, offices, and where not.  I have heard people phubbing even at funerals.

So phubbing is an global epidemic, much as Smartphone addiction is! The new behavioural problem. Why it is a problem? Because it affects relationships as it breaks down conversation,. cuts communication channels and makes people feel ignored not getting enough attention.

STOP PHUBBING

How does one stop phubbing? It is not going to be easy. We are all addicted to Smartphones. They are our modern day indulgence. We are almost slaves to notifications that keep popping up every now and then, tempting us to pick-up our smartphone and check it one more time, and then again one more time and ...the cycle is never ending. There is a sense of FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out).

Phubbing is an annoying modern day behaviour and it needs to stop. And the only way I can think that phubbing can stop is to train our minds to resist the temptation of checking our phones again and again. Mindfulness is important and staying focused on what one is doing in the moment is every important. Living in the moment, as they say, makes every moment fruitful and enjoyable.

So what's your phubbing moment? If you have phubbed or have been phubbed, please leave a comment about your phubbing moment. And yes, please share and like the post.

And yes, if you are phubbing someone when you are reading my article then please close itnow and read it when you are not phubbing. Stop Phubbing, Please. 

Do not 'Make My Reward'

Recently the travel app Make My Trip gave me INR 4000 in my MMT wallet as a reward of my loyalty as a customer. As the notification popped up on my smartphone, I was thrilled at the prospect of a weekend getaway with my family. Being at office, I immediately called up my wife and told her of the unexpected bounty. We were excited and decided to visit the princely city Mysore for a night. It was a good way to escape the madness of the metropolis for a day. However it was only at the time of hotel booking that I realized that I had not read the fine print well. 

The terms and conditions of the use of wallet amount was complicated and loaded against the customer. It simply looked like a ploy to make you spend more, nothing more than a sales gimmick. To just give you an idea, I needed to spend close to INR 25000 to make use of the entire INR 4000 in my wallet. Worse this wallet money was valid only for about a week. This meant that I had to spend 25K in one shot immediately to ensure that I do not lose out on my wallet money. This was such a cheap sales stunt. 

Was this a reward for my loyalty and the fact that I had helped MMT become richer or a trick to ensure that I make them even richer? The answer is a no-brainer, I suppose. An enquiry with the MMT resulted in a call from customer care who repeated the same terms and conditions and further expressed his helplessness to do anything more, but promised that he will escalate my concern to his seniors. Much time has passed and I have received no further clarification or response from MMT  which pretty much means ‘take it or leave it’. 

We on our part have decided to give a pass to this wallet bounty generously showered on us by MMT. Our Mysore plan shelved for another time, but more than that I think that MMT experience was better without this sales trick in the garb of a reward. This ‘reward’ spoiled my MMT experience and left me feeling a bit short-changed. 

Something is better than nothing, but isn’t nothing is better than Nonsense.

How many times have you we received gifts on our birthdays or anniversaries that we have no idea why it was chosen for us or what to really do with that gift? I am sure it has happened with all of us and keeps happening every now. Such gifts are better not given.

I recall the stainless steel water pitcher, or an antique candle stand or at times even some cash being given to me on my birthdays by guests at the party when I would be a 9 or 10 year old boy. I did not know what to do with the steel water pitcher or with the candle stand or for that matter with the cash, although it was slightly better option that the other two. On the other hand a simple tennis ball or a small pack of chocolate was much more meaningful and joyous for a school going boy.

Gifts are after all reflection of the presenter’s feelings and intended to bring a smile on the face of the recipient to make him/her feel special. The material worth of the gift hardly matters. The intention of the presenter does. A meaningful gift is also a reflection of the amount of thought and time spared by the person for the one for whom the gift is intended. And that is what makes it even more special. On the other hand, meaningless gifts reflect the ignorance of the person buying the gift and total disregard for the person for whom it is meant.

The same thing happens with rewards and recognitions (R&R) plans in companies. A well-intended and well-thought reward and recognition program can always make employees and customers happy and engaged. Such R&R are honest and provide a sense of worth, joy and motivation to the recipient. However a poorly designed R&R falls flat on the face of purpose and worse, they can be de-motivators and disengagers, proving to be counter-productive.