Vanishing Footsteps

A feeling that I will never ever receive another message or text from that person, I will never be able to see that person again or speak to the person is excruciating – the sense of loss, losing someone dear wrenches your heart like a wet cloth is dry rung.  

For me, I don’t feel anything when ‘it’ happens, it is a state of numbness. Is it that I don’t feel anything, or I don’t want to feel the loss, I do not know, but I just go on with life as usual. Then days pass, and things start to settle in and suddenly one day the treacherous heart skips a beat and that feeling, the one I hate most, dawns on me. A sort of dreadful realization…that’s when you feel the loss…the air feels short of oxygen and chest starts to feel like a hollow tunnel. A strange form of sadness envelopes me like misty smoke surrounds the burning wood. A concoction of memories, those moments, those missed chances of conversation or meetings that happened and the ones that never could, all swarm around the heart incessantly. The eyes are dry, but there is a corner of heart that is wet, unseen, hidden, somewhere deep within. One question keeps reverberating within - why did the footsteps vanish? I know, it has no answer, 

Over the years I have also come to realize that the world will never ever understand your grief, and who is trying to explain in the first place. Grief is like another dear page of one's diary. Even if no one reads it, the page never loses its meaning.

I close my eyes and speak to the one whom I lost…'stay well wherever you are, you suffered a lot, may you now be free from all suffering and may light guide your path ahead'.

I have to go...life is calling again…life is such...after all the show must go on…!!