Why Indian Women continue to face Brutal Sexual and Physical Violence?

Violence against women goes unabated in India. In the latest, two girls were gang-raped in a remote town of a northern state in India and then mercilessly hung from a tree. Reportedly, delay in police action failed to save the lives of the girls. To add to the tragedy and misery the state chief minister, under pressure from the scribes over rising cases of violence in the state, made a comment that lacked sensitivity or concern. When asked repeatedly about the safety of women in the state, he reportedly shot back at the journos and asked them - I hope you have face no danger. The comment has not gone down well with anyone and the opposition has already made it an issue. But beyond all the politics, family of the girls continue to face attacks and reel under unimaginable trauma. Their lives have been scared beyond repair.

Women in this part of the world including India continue to face sexual and brutal physical violence. Media has highlighted such incidents especially after the Delhi gang rape incident, raising public awareness. Some steps have been taken by governments like setting up women cell etc Despite all this incidents of such violence keeps happening that are emotionally draining for many people like me.

The question is why? Why sexual and physical violence against women continues in India?

Philip Zimbardo in his work - 'The Psychology of Evil' has perhaps the answer. What Zimbardo calls 'Lucifer Effect' explains that an individual behaviour is determined by three things - Individual disposition ( that is what is inside the individual); situation; and finally the system. Simply speaking it means that every individual has both good and bad inside and a bad situation brings the bad out of a person. The system that has various variables cultural, social etc. shapes the situation or in other words make a situation good or bad.

To say India is culturally, socially a male dominant society is a partial representation. Male domination in this nation in its fullest sense means that women are considered secondary in society. They are expected to conform with male norms of existence failing which they are subjected to abuse and torture. Male and female children are not brought up similarly in the same family. Girls are always asked to learn to adjust first to what her family wants, then what society wants, then what husband & in-laws want and finally even what children want. Boys grow up seeing their mothers and sisters given second class treatment and are never taught to respect girls and women. They grow expecting women to follow their orders without questioning. Such a 'system' creates a situation that makes insensitive men who have scant respect for women and in many cases women are objectified by men.

Most men end up mistreating women, in simplest form it happens as bad stares, lewd comments or eve-teasing; and in its most ugly & brutal form as rape and murder of women. Otherwise what explains recent cases of highly educated men in responsible positions engaging in obscene comments and acts on women. At the same time even juvenile boys are accused of sexual crime on women.

Do all men turn out like that?
No. There are heroes as well that come out of a bad situation. That may be because some aspects of their social variable was different. May be they grew up in very good families or may be they experienced in some way such torture on women and were exposed to such trauma at an early age. The micro-environment variable could also play a role. Certain states are less male dominant then the other.

Is there a hope for women?
Behaviour alteration requires alteration of situational variables, in this case cultural and social factors. However cultural and social transformation do not happen in a day. They take time. In case of India it will first require alteration in beliefs. That's not happening any sooner as well. In fact very recent casual and mild description of rapists by some politicians has shocked many like me in this nation. Then?

I reiterate judiciary is the only hope. Fast tracking of such cases and death penalty to rapists with unfailing regularity is the only way out. This is will disrupt the current social norm and hence the situation  from current state of almost indifference. A sense of Fear in the situation can be the only deterrent.

For stopping sexual and physical violence on women judicial proactivism is the only way. New tougher laws need to be enacted and implemented.

Whenever such initiatives start some social activists stand up against death penalty to criminals. Some one Please stand up for victim and stop empathizing with those who brutalize and demonize girls and women. These animals are beyond reform and need to be eliminated to protect the innocent.

Fear of justice needs to be instilled to change the social order.

Remember, the Lucifer effect! The system variables have to be altered to alter the situation and hence the behaviour.

Kya Acche Din Saach Mein Aane Wale Hain? - Will India be MODIfied?

As the nation watches the new government take charge at New Delhi and the coronation of Mr. Narendra Modi as the new Prime Minister of India, expectations of people are soaring. The promise of the party voted to power - BJP has been that better days are about to come (Acche Din Aane Wale Hain).

So are 'acche din' really round the corner? For whom 'acche din' are coming? What will those 'acche din' mean to the common man on the street? How will be those 'acche din' be different from the aaj ka din (present day)?

Anyone's guess right now! 

But really what can any government of any nation really do or should do for 'Acche Din' of itsd citizens? In my opinion it needs to do ensure three things -

1. Protect the liberty of the citizens of the country from external aggressors and from internal threats.
Safeguarding the liberty of the citizens of a nation becomes the prime responsibility of any government. While external aggression needs to be repelled and discouraged, it's often the internal threat that suppresses and harms the liberty of the citizens. 

Creating an Just, Fearless, Disciplined environment protects the citizen liberty irrespective of caste, creed, religion, colour, gender, region and ethnicity. One Nation, One People. Government should realize threats to individual liberty comes even from small things often ignored in our nation as 'chalta hain' like a road encroachment for a private function, a overloaded vehicle on the road, people littering public places, non-working street lights and the list is endless... 

2. Protect the citizens from the government itself. 
This may sound a bit unusual but any wise government would know that power  by its very nature often corrupts its holders. Government being the power centre of a country it needs to be vigilant that none of its members or representatives misuse or abuse power.  

3. Create a truly entrepreneurial climate by removing barriers like trade restriction, regulations, licenses. In short reduce government's interference into business to minimum.

As a consumer I must not be forced to buy from anyone. I must be free to choose what to buy, where to buy from and not dictated by government. If I can choose the representatives who runs the nation, then I can also choose what to consume and from where I should purchase and consume. 

As an entrepreneur I must be have the freedom and ease to start an enterprise without really having to worry for permits, licenses and permissions. Entrepreneurial climate couple with lower trade barriers and restrictions means more jobs, more disposable income, more competition, better choices,  lower prices for consumers and more consumption - that in turn fuels greater industrial productivity, and that in turn results in even more jobs, even more income and even more consumption.

Will the new Indian government recognize and practice these key principles? 

'Kya Acche Din Saach Mein Aane Wale Hain'? (Are good days really about to come?) Will India be MODIfied?

The voter who voted BJP and Mr. Modi to power is optimistic that the party and NaMo will deliver. There are others who are circumspect. I will leave this debate for the 9 p.m. prime time shows. Days to come will tell for themselves...

Meanwhile, Nation's hopes and wishes are with Mr. Modi and BJP that days change for the good and 'acche din' really come... Good Luck Mr. Modi.

Traffic Cops and Citizen Engagement

A single zebrafish, exposed to alcohol, not only doubles its swim-speed among its "sober" peers, but also increases the speed of the whole group, according to a finding of New York University Polytechnicschool of Engineering.

Most two-wheeler drivers on Bangalore roads seem to share the 'zebrafish' influence. Their speed is generally double of the speed of other vehicles on the same road at the same time. They swarm like mosquitoes from all 'sides' and swerve, suddenly cut right in front of you and keep dancing in front of your vehicle.

It seems that the responsibility of their safety has been entrusted with you and you must tolerate all their calisthenics on the road.  

Today morning on a Y shaped cross near ITPL my friend's car happened to have a minor accident with a similar biker who suddenly rode his bike right in front his car. Although it was the fault of the biker, my friend offered no resistance and offered help to the biker. The biker instead became aggressive, snatched away the company identity card that my friend was wearing round his neck, tried snatching away his car keys ad even started to threaten that he will damage the car. Seeing the biker resort to rowdy tactics, my friend sought help from a traffic lady police constable standing nearby. Unfortunately she simply listened and showed no intention to help. 

Left to his own, he found timely help from another biker (who was thankfully not of the 'zebrafish' type) and he helped negotiate. An intervention from another passerby sobered the tempers of the rowdy biker, although he extorted good money from my friend, who had no choice but to pay despite the fact that the bike had undergone no damage.

All this happened while traffic police was in the vicinity. Under such circumstances how do ordinary citizens connect and depend on traffic police personnel on the road. Instead they fear and mistrust them. Few days back when an incident came to light in the city where a innocent car driver was indicted of drunken driving the city was shocked!

 Overloaded trucks, drivers talking on phone while driving, cabs over speeding, unjustified road rage from erring rowdy motorists  - a lot is happening on roads that is somehow visible only to the public.

All this is eroding trust!

Strict traffic rules are not enough to ensure safer roads. Citizens must develop a sense of trust that the traffic police on duty are there to help them when they need and punish the real offender.  Dereliction of duty, indifference and non-uniform enforcement of rules will never engage people to traffic police and roads will continue to be hell for every decent motorist.

A few honest traffic police officers like Constable 'Singham' Bhasker helping the innocent citizen and bringing the offenders to the book are worth applause and should be a role model to rest of his colleagues.

 We salute you Constable Singham Bhasker!

Formula for Perfect Indian Bride = ......

'Alliance invited for our only son (29/5'8"), well-settled, working in a MNC from a  fair, slim, beautiful, educated, smart homely girl. Please contact 00-000000'

- a typical matrimonial classified advertisement that you will find in our newspapers. Looks a normal matrimonial ad except when you look closely through the fine print, that is never written in the ads but always spelt and meant in majority marriage alliances in the country.

What's the fine print? Well, the fine print goes like this -

a. The girl should be FAIR complexioned, fairer than the whites! No marks on skin and face should be glowing. This is true even if the boy looks as if he has just been to the coal mine.

b. The girl should be Slim - she should have a good figure. The out of shape, 'ALL' size wearing boys also want in-shape girls.

c. The girl should be Educated but not more than the boy. The girl can be successful, intelligent but not more than the boy.

d. The girl should be Smart (should be able to socialize with husband's friends during parties) but also Homely (should remain like a cow inside home, taking orders, cooking, washing without any expectation of any gratitude or thankfulness from any member of the family).

Add-ons
The girls'  family must be submissive and bow down their heads in reverence to the boys' family, respond positively to their even unrealistic demands, and at all times consider themselves fortunate that their daughter has found a place in the boys' life and house.

Hence most people in India want a boy, but if 'unfortunately' they have a girl then she should be tailor made -
1. She should be fair. When girls are born in India, then they ascertain whether she will turn out to be fair later on as all new born appear pink. If the 'test' reveals that she would not turn out to be fair, then the fairness creams and prayers are made the girls' best friends.

2. She should be of average height. If the girl shows sign of becoming tall then her parents are scared for finding a taller boy then their girl would not be easy. Indian boys are all of average height, after all. In this case, however there is no support of any cream to reduce girl's height. Prayers are only recourse.

3. Girls are educated but only enough to be marriage eligible. In some communities, where boys take up family business early in their life and are not educated beyond high school, the girls are pulled out of school when they in standard 5th or 6th. Else, they will not find a suitable match!

4. How much education a girl attains is secondary, whether she knows all 'home science' is more significant.

5. A Indian girl marries not only the boy but literally the entire boys' family, hence she is taught to be submissive, not answer back to her husband or in-laws even  when they are wrong and learn to 'ADJUST'.

Basically, a girl should become a perfect bride one day. The formula for Perfect Bride is -

Perfect Indian Bride = Beauty Queen + Master Chef + Housekeeper + Nanny + Teacher + Caretaker + ....

So what's the point?
1. Girls in India have to groom themselves as perfect brides, regardless of their other qualities and intellectual abilities.

2. I am not suggesting making individuals devoid of personal choice when it comes to choosing a life-partner but  that - a) this choice only resides with boys is wrong; b) the intentions behind making such choices are mostly corrupt; and, c) that such choices have resulted in girls being subject to discrimination and unrealistic pressures.

Hope
Will things change in future? Some hope comes from few brave-hearts who fight the system. Shahul Hameed a dishwasher in Chennai encouraged her daughter Fatima to clear JEE and is now fighting the society and financial constraints to send her daughter for engineering studies. These heroes need to be celebrated and they are leading a difficult change, a future where girls will cease to be treated as an 'object' and they too will have the power to choose and live with dignity.